The Inside Story - Chapter 8 - Jimjii - 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys (2024)

Chapter Text

Jimin doesn’t know what time it is.

It’s dark where he is buried under Hobi’s duvet, so he has lost all track of the time of day. Old habits die hard it seems, so when Jimin’s world had fallen apart the day before, he found himself at his best friend’s door, crawling under his duvet to hide away from the world.

Hobi has helped Jimin tread water at the worst of times, helping him stay afloat when his anxiety has threatened to drown him over the years, but even he struggled to calm Jimin down when he had shown up at his door yesterday, angry, and hurt and confused. Because Jimin is so confused. Even after spending all night thinking about it, he can’t make sense of it.

Why would Jeongguk write those things?

Because Jeongguk had written them. They were on his computer. But… Jimin knows Jeongguk. He knows him so deeply, and that article, those awful words, that isn’t Jeongguk. Jeongguk cares about him. Jeongguk has stood up for him, protected him, has been there with him through some of his most difficult times, has accepted all of Jimin’s jumbled parts. Jeongguk has always been on his side, and it has given Jimin a strength he didn’t know he had.

Jimin felt like he could build himself up with Jeongguk’s help, that he could rely on him, and maybe people would say that’s where he went wrong. That you shouldn’t look for your own happiness in another person, and you should be happy in yourself before ever committing yourself to someone else. But if that’s the case, would anyone really be able to enter into a relationship? Because we all have broken parts, ugly sides, dark thoughts. Should Jimin’s messy parts stop him from seeking out his own happiness?

Jeongguk has helped Jimin with so much, including his inner demons. Meeting Jeongguk has been the very thing that has helped him find ways to love himself for the first time. Jeongguk has shone light on parts of his soul that he has learned to accept and love. Jimin probably wouldn’t have been able to heal so many parts of himself if it wasn’t for Jeongguk. But now he has no idea what to think. He feels like his safety net is gone. He found someone that kept him grounded, and now he’s not grounded anymore. He feels like he could be swept away at any moment.

He brings the sleeves of his hoodie to his nose and inhales deeply. Well not his hoodie, Jeongguk’s hoodie. The one Jeongguk gave him to wear yesterday, the one he hasn’t taken off yet. He doesn’t want to take it off because it feels like a lifeline. He burrows into it, taking a deep breath. It still smells like Jeongguk, and the smell is so comforting as it wraps around him. It smells like home.

“Jimin-ah?”

Hobi is back. Jimin didn’t hear him come in, too lost in the whirlwind of his own thoughts. He curls in on himself as the bed shifts beside him.

“Jimin-ah?” Hobi peels back the covers, finding Jimin curled up underneath. He reaches out and strokes at Jimin’s hair the same way he always has, and suddenly it’s like they’re two school kids back in their old dormitory again. “How are you holding up? Did you eat what I left out for you?”

Jimin nods, but he doesn’t speak. His throat hurts. He feels exhausted, but he can’t seem to sleep. There’s a restlessness under his skin. He tries to bury under the covers again, but Hobi stops him.

“… He was there today, at the studio.” Hobi says quietly.

Jimin can’t help the way he instantly reacts, the fact that he so desperately wants to know. “Jeongguk…?”

Hobi nods. “He was in pretty rough shape. I think he was hoping you would be there today so he could talk to you. He was pretty desperate to explain himself. He cried a lot.”

Jimin’s heart feels bruised in his chest. He doesn’t want Jeongguk to cry. He wants him to smile. That smile that makes his nose scrunch up, the one that makes Jimin’s stomach do somersaults.

“Did you talk to him?”

Hobi nods. “He sort of explained some stuff to me. I can tell you what he said if you want to listen. We don’t have to talk about it right now, but I think it would be good for you to hear what he had to say. When you’re ready.”

Jimin thinks for a moment, and then sits up against the headboard. “I want to know what he said.”

He needs to know. Because he knows there’s a reason. He knows Jeongguk. He knows that what they had was real. What they have. He knows Jeongguk cares about him. He felt it when they spent the night together. He’s just missing a piece of the puzzle.

“Okay, scoot over.” Jimin shuffles over as Hobi climbs into the bed and sits beside him. Jimin rests his head on Hobi’s shoulder, and Hobi pulls out his phone, scrolling for a moment before holding it up in front of Jimin’s face. “Do you remember this?”

Jimin squints against the glare of the phone screen. It’s a message from him to Hobi from just under two months ago, a whole essay filling up the screen. “This is a message you send me, ranting to me about Jeongguk when you first met him. Just read some of the things you wrote.”

Jimin’s eyes travel down the text. He winces as soon as he reads one line wishing Jeongguk a horrible death. Another line calling him a blood sucking leech. There’s one part where Jimin says that Jeongguk must not have been loved as a child, which makes him feel particularly guilty knowing how much Jeongguk’s parents love him. Another part that says Jeongguk is incapable of being a good person, that he’s heartless, which couldn’t be further from the truth. He said some pretty awful things, and he feels worse the more he reads, realising how many assumptions he made about Jeongguk before he got to know him.

“I forgot I wrote all that... I remember it was after a fight we had. I definitely don’t think any of that now.”

Hobi hums, putting his phone away. “Exactly. You both got off on the wrong foot, and it caused you to both write some nasty sh*t about each other. For you, it was in the form of texts to me. For Jeongguk, he used his writing to vent his frustrations. He told me that you guys had a bad fight one night and he got angry, so he drank and then wrote some stupid sh*t to vent and clear his head. He never intended to publish it, he just forgot to delete it. He told me to tell you he was sorry. And he definitely doesn’t think any of it is true, he made that very clear.”

Jimin takes a deep breath, pondering on Hobi’s words. Him and Jeongguk had definitely gotten off on the wrong foot, and Jimin knows he wasn’t an innocent party in the whole situation. He had been pretty petty for the first week or two that he and Jeongguk had initially interacted, and neither of them really knew each other at all back then. If Jeongguk had written the article at that time, then it makes sense why it would be full of such venom. His own messages to Hobi were no better. He’d never want Jeongguk to read his harsh words, so he imagines Jeongguk must be feeling terrible about Jimin reading his.

“So that wasn’t the real article?”

Hobi shakes his head. “Nope. In fact…” Hobi leans over the edge of the bed, Jimin tilting with him as he reaches for something, before placing it on the bed in front of Jimin. “Here. Jeongguk wanted me to give you this.”

Jimin’s eyes widen and he sits up, untangling himself from his best friend. His heart beats faster, but for once it’s not for a negative reason. He reaches out with trembling fingers and runs them down the shiny cover of the magazine.

“What’s this?”

Hobi smiles beside him. “It’s next month’s edition of GQ, with Jeongguk’s feature article. His real article about you. And apparently he had full artistic control over the entire thing including the cover, which is insane because I sure as hell have never seen a cover like this on GQ, or any other magazine. Jeongguk must have really pulled some strings.”

Jimin feels an overwhelming rush of emotions as he takes in the cover. He was expecting the cover photo to be from the photoshoot that his management had arranged, the one of him in a suit, looking cold and intimidating- the way he is always portrayed. Something beautiful to look at, but that’s where it ends.

But this… Jimin didn’t even know Jeongguk had taken this photo. He feels himself smiling as he traces around the image of himself throwing his arms in the air as he looks over the city stretched below him. He didn’t know it was possible for him to look so carefree.

He feels like he’s seeing himself through Jeongguk’s eyes, and yet again Jeongguk has managed to show him something he can love about himself.

“Where was this photo taken?” Hobi wonders.

“That’s a secret,” Jimin whispers as he picks up the magazine carefully, resting it on his knees like it’s a special treasure. All of the memories of that day come flooding back; him and Jeongguk shouting all of their frustrations into the air over Seoul, them laughing uncontrollably as they attempted to ‘trust fall’ into each other’s arms, them ending up in a pile on the floor. Jimin remembers how carefree he felt, how safe. “I can’t believe he used this as the cover.”

He runs his hand along the side of the magazine, feeling the edge of the pages. “Park Jimin: The Inside Story.” He reads aloud, fingers following the words printed across the front of the cover. Suddenly he doesn’t feel nervous about the article. He feels excited. He wants to read it, which is something Jimin never thought he would ever feel.

He takes a breath and opens the magazine, and the first page of the article takes his breath away. The cover wasn’t a one-off. The whole article is littered with candid photos of Jimin that Jeongguk has taken over the weeks they have spent together. There’s one of Jimin laughing with Jin, Tae, and Hobi, his face scrunched up in a way that his management would never let go to press in any other circ*mstance. Another photo is of a Jimin smiling while drinking coffee in his dressing room, pre-makeup, wearing his favourite hoodie. There’s one of him on Jeongguk’s brother’s boat, looking messy and bare-faced and, just- so human. In all of the photos he is smiling brightly. Jimin didn’t realise he could smile like that.

He feels the lump in his throat grow as he begins to read Jeongguk’s article.

Park Jimin: The Inside Story
Written by Jeon Jeongguk

Research has shown that it only takes seven seconds to form an impression of a person when you first meet them. It’s labelled a ‘snap judgement’. Seven seconds is all it takes a person to decide whether the individual they meet is a good person in their eyes, someone they like, respect, or want to spend time with. What this research does not show, however, is that first impressions can be incredibly wrong.

When I was first commissioned to write a feature article on Park Jimin, my thoughts instantly turned negative. Before I had even met him, I had already decided what type of person he was. I hadn’t even allowed Park Jimin any room to change my mind. As a writer who should be unbiased in all my work, this was my biggest mistake, and admittedly the most unprofessional moment of my career.

Jimin’s eyes travel down the page as he takes in Jeongguk’s words, and although they are more formal than Jimin is used to hearing from him, they are so unmistakably Jeongguk. So much so, that inside Jimin’s mind, he is reading the words in Jeongguk’s soft voice.

His eyes are drawn to a name he recognises. A short interview in the middle of the page, next to a photo of Jimin on set, looking down in concentration at his script- yet another candid photo Jeongguk had taken.

“Park Jimin is surprisingly kind,” says Kim Jihoo, an assistant who has worked on set with Jimin for multiple dramas.

Jimin’s eyes widen at the mention of the assistant he knows well. He always thought that she was scared of him. He remembers one time he had grabbed the script from her too harshly, startling her. He’d felt terribly guilty for the rest of the day. The next day he bought her treats from her favourite cafe to apologise, albeit secretly because he was too shy to actually apologise, and she didn’t know who they were from. He’s surprised to hear her speak positively about him. He wonders when Jeongguk had interviewed her?

Kim Jihoo continues: “I didn’t even realise, but one of the other assistants told me that he regularly buys treats and food for the all the staff. I actually noticed him doing it once I caught on. He provides for the staff regularly from his own pocket, and without telling anyone. I was so impressed by his humility, and how he did it because he wanted to express his gratefulness, but at the same time not making a show of it. Since then I realised I misjudged him. I think it would be nice to get closer to Park Jimin. He seems like he would make a good friend. I hope one day I can thank him properly for his kindnesses.”

Jimin’s lips pull into a smile. Jeongguk had said he wouldn’t write about Jimin’s secret snack buying in the article.

“… Liar,” he says softly, his heart swelling at the kind words of the assistant he was sure hated him. He never thought anyone would notice what he did.

Jimin’s eyes continue to scan down the page, chuckling quietly when he looks at the photo of him on Jeongguk’s brother’s boat, a crab in his hand held at arms length as he laughs, as if he’s both scared and endeared by the creature at the same time. He remembers throwing the crab back in the ocean, and he remembers Jeongguk’s boisterous laughter, the memory bringing a warmth to his chest.

His eyes flicker to Hobi’s name a little further down the page.

“One fact about Jimin that I bet no one is aware of, is that he is one of the most captivating and talented dancers that I know. Many people know him for his acting, but if you ever saw him dance, you’d be left in awe, I promise.”

Jimin glances up at Hobi who is watching him patiently. “Most talented dancer you know, huh?”

“He put that in?” Hobi leans forward to look at the open magazine. “He just asked me what is something I wish the public knew about you, and that’s what I came up with.”

Jimin snorts. “Next time you scold me for getting your choreography wrong I’m going to quote this,” he teases and Hobi rolls his eyes.

Jimin turns back to the article, fully immersing himself in Jeongguk’s words. He blinks back tears as he reads, fingers trembling as he turns the pages carefully. More candid photos are scattered across the paper, more interviews from people close to him, from Hobi, Taehyung, and Seokjin, even from his grandmother herself who spills her love onto the page.

The article is full of kind words, love and praise. Jeongguk hasn’t written about any of Jimin’s personal struggles or insecurities, just like he promised he wouldn’t, but he has written about Jimin’s strength and determination, his professionalism, his bravery, his compassion, about his love for his friends and the people close to him.

Jeongguk writes about Jimin like he hung the stars in the sky, his feelings woven into every sentence. In his words Jimin sees himself through Jeongguk’s eyes, and what a sight it is to behold.

A tear drops off the end of Jimin’s nose and onto the magazine and he gasps, quickly using his sleeve to carefully dab the patch dry, before wiping at his face.

After spending nearly two months shadowing Park Jimin, I have come to learn that he is so different from the image of him that has been created by the media, and is projected by the public who, for some reason, decided to villainize him from a young age. But Park Jimin is far from a villain. He is kind, selfless, shy, caring, and a person simply full of love.

I hope that through this article, you can get to know the real Park Jimin, even if my words portray only a fraction of who he really is. Maybe then you will think twice about judging so readily, just as I have.

As you read this article, I hope your heart can be swayed by him. I know mine has been.

“You like it?” Hobi asks, looking at Jimin expectantly.

Jimin nods, bringing his hand to his mouth as he chokes on a sob. “H-hyung, I have to find him.” Jimin wipes at his face, almost falling as he clambers out of bed and reaches for his phone which has been turned off since the day before.

“I’m guessing it’s a good article then.” Hobi smiles as he watches Jimin fumble with his phone in his haste.

Jimin finally gets his phone turned on, and his heart sinks when he sees all the missed calls from Jeongguk, the voicemails and kakao messages. He’s scared to listen to them, and yet he’s desperate to hear Jeongguk’s voice. He clicks the new voicemail message notification, and holds it up to his ear.

“Hyung… I… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of it, I promise…” Jeongguk sounds so sad, and Jimin feels himself tear up again. “Please- you don’t even have to speak to me but I just- I need to know you’re somewhere safe. Please call me. Or message me. Please.”

The next message has the sound of traffic in the back ground, Jeongguk having to speak louder over it. “I know you probably don’t want to hear my voice, but I just want to make sure you’re safe… please hyung.”

The messages go on like this. With Jeongguk’s voice sounding more and more dejected with each message. In the end Jimin can’t bear to listen to them anymore.

He calls Jeongguk’s number, but it goes straight through to voicemail. “f*ck,” Jimin whines walking out into Hobi’s living room with his best friend in tow. He tries again, and again, but the phone goes directly to voicemail each time. Jimin is getting a taste of his own medicine it seems. Why is Jeongguk’s phone off? Did something happen to him? Jimin bites at his thumb nail, his anxiety thrumming in his chest and threatening to spill over. He looks at the time on his phone, it’s already past five in the afternoon.

“Hyung, would Jeongguk still be at the studio?”

“When you aren’t there? Come on Jimin. He left the moment I told him you weren’t coming in today.”

Jimin gives up with the phone the fifth time it goes to voicemail. He walks to the door and tugs on his shoes, pulling the hood of Jeongguk’s hoodie up over his face, and a mask high on his nose- giving him that small sense of security that it always does. He may not be able to control a lot of things in his life, but he can control how much of his face the public can see, and that has always been a small lifeline he can hold onto.

“I’ll see you later, hyung,” he says quickly over his shoulder.

“Woah, hold on! Where are you going?”

“Uh… I’m not sure yet. Maybe Jeongguk’s?” Jimin quickly orders a taxi on his phone, the notification chiming that a driver has accepted his request and is three minutes away. “Thank you for taking care of me hyung,” Jimin sighs as he pulls Hobi into his arms, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry I’m just running off. But- I can’t leave Jeongguk thinking the worst, I need to talk to him.”

“Do you even know where he is?”

“I don’t, but I need to try.”

“And I was looking forward to watching a movie with you,” Hobi sighs, but then he grins and tugs at the rim of Jimin’s hood. “Go get him, tiger. Do you need me to come with you?”

Jimin contemplates it, but then shakes his head. The determination he has to friend Jeongguk is the strongest emotion in his mind right now, and its overriding all the other thoughts that would usually riddle him with anxiety. He feels strong for once. Even if just a little. “I can do it. I need to do this.”

“Okay. Well, call me if you need me.”

Jimin nods, adjusting his mask one last time before opening the door. “I’ll keep you updated.”

—

“Here’s fine, thank you” Jimin says to the taxi driver as they pull into Jeongguk’s street, practically jumping out of the vehicle while it is still moving. Jeongguk’s building is old, and the entrance is permanently propped open, so Jimin is able to slip inside and climb the stairs. His heart is thundering in his chest by the time he makes to Jeongguk’s front door, an anxious energy filling his body, making his muscles tense. He hesitates for only a second before pressing the old doorbell.

He can hear the chime echo quietly inside the apartment. But then silence. Nothing.

Jimin tries again. Silence.

He knocks. Nothing.

“Jeongguk-ah?” Jimin calls through the door, “it’s… me. Jeongguk?”

Nothing. Silence. Jeongguk isn’t here.

“sh*t,” Jimin mutters under his breath, bringing his thumb up to his lips and biting at the skin around his nail. Where could he be? He isn’t at the studio, he isn’t home.

Jimin jogs back down the stairs and out onto the street. He tugs his hood lower over his eyes as a group of people walk past, turning his body away as that familiar prickle of panic threatens to wash over him. He makes a show of looking down at his phone’s lock screen, and once he’s sure they’ve passed, he takes a calming breath, opening his taxi app and typing in a new destination: GQ headquarters. A driver accepts his request and within a few minutes the taxi pulls up in front of him.

Jimin quietly greets the driver before sinking low into the back seat, releasing a breath. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing at this point, but apparently he’s throwing himself into it nonetheless. f*cking hell.

He dials Jeongguk’s number again, but it still goes straight to voicemail. “Where are you Jeongguk-ah?” He whispers as he gazes out of the window, watching the buildings start to grow taller as they enter the business district.

When the taxi pulls up in front of Jeongguk’s workplace, Jimin fumbles with the handle before stepping out onto the bustling sidewalk, closing the door behind him. The taxi pulls away, and suddenly he’s on his own. He takes a beep breath as he glances around. Jimin hasn’t been on his own in a busy area like this for as long as he can remember. He’s always whisked in and out of metropolitan buildings for his schedule, but he’s usually surrounded by several bodyguards, as well as crowds of fans and paparazzi lining the streets to get a glimpse of him. Outside of his schedule, he avoids areas like this like the plague.

Jimin’s heart beats faster as he looks up at the lavish building in front of him, the tall glass windows lining the entire ground floor boasting a grand entrance. He adjusts his hood and mask, keeping his head low, and before can second guess what he’s doing he’s walking through the entrance of GQ’s main office, the pavement turning to dark marble underfoot.

Jimin steels himself and looks up, eyes scanning around the foyer. In front of him, set in the middle of the space is a sleek reception desk, security gates for the workers in rows on either side. One of the workers behind the desk has already set their eyes on him, and he feels himself tense. He didn’t really think this far ahead. All he knows is that Jeongguk is a journalist, and writes for GQ. He knows he works in this building from past meetings they have had over the weeks, but he has no idea what floor, or what department. How the hell is he supposed to find him?

Taking a deep breath, Jimin walks up to the desk, hands gripping the edge nervously. He hesitantly leans over to speak in a low voice to the worker who has been watching him curiously. “Uh… Jeon Jeongguk?” Is all Jimin can get out, his voice muffled from behind his mask.

The worker leans forward with innocent confusion. “Sorry? I can’t hear you. How can I help?” She dips her head to get a better look at Jimin’s eyes, the only part of his face that isn’t somehow covered.

Jimin can’t help but shrink back. It’s an automatic reaction and he hates himself for being like this. “I’m here to see Jeon Jeongguk,” Jimin says a little louder, “he works here.”

“You’re visiting a worker?”

“…Yes.”

“Do you have an appointment with him?”

“Uh, no.”

“I see. Can I have your name?”

Jimin freezes. His name. He doesn’t want to say it. “Could you just let me know if he’s in the office today?” Jimin tries again fingers gripping the side of the desk, “Jeon Jeongguk?”

Jimin can see the other reception workers start to whisper amongst themselves. He grips the desk harder.

“What department is he in?”

“He’s a writer…” Jimin says but it comes out more like a question than a statement. He should leave. This was a bad idea. The voices around him get louder. Or maybe it’s just his imagination. Maybe it’s his head making everything seem so much louder.

“Excuse me, are you Park Jimin?” One of the other receptionists leans over to ask. Jimin’s eyes shoot to her and her face lights up with recognition once she can finally see his eyes properly. She brings her hand to her mouth with excitement, trying to stay professional. “ Oh my god- sorry- I’m a big fan of yours.”

“It’s really Park Jimin?” Another staff member behind her repeats, leaning forwards. The chatter gets louder as more people cotton on. Jimin notices some passing workers hold up their phones.

“Why is Park Jimin here?”

“It’s really him?”

“He’s taller than I thought!”

“Oh my god. I’m so glad I didn’t call in sick today.”

“He looks so different in normal clothes.”

Jimin shakes his head, then bows, then tries to pull his hood down further as he takes a step backwards, his heart thundering in his ears.

He collides with someone’s chest, a yelp escaping his throat.

“Woah, steady there,” the person says.

“S-sorry,” Jimin turns in preparation to run to the door. This was a stupid idea, he can’t handle situations like this.

“Wait- Park Jimin?” The voice asks. “I’m Kim Namjoon. Jeongguk’s friend.”

Namjoon. The friend Jeongguk named one of his fish after. He looks up from under his hood. The man is tall and broad, but his handsome face looks kind, his eyes soft as he looks at Jimin.

Jimin’s eyes dart around to the crowd slowly forming, and Namjoon also seems to notice. “Follow me. Let’s go somewhere more private.” He smiles kindly as he ushers Jimin to follow him. “As for the rest of you, back to work!” He barks at the staff who quickly scatter.

Namjoon leads Jimin to the security barriers and scans his staff pass on a reader, the barrier opening for them. He grins at Jimin, nodding behind him as they pass through. “I don’t actually have authority to shout at them like that,” he chuckles, “but they wont say anything.”

“Really?” Jimin asks, latching onto the conversation to try and distract himself from his almost-meltdown. Namjoon leads him to a quiet waiting area just past the staff elevators.

“I’m just your average writer here, but I have an advantage, you see. I’m in with the editor-in-chief,” he smiles, tapping the side of his nose in a knowing gesture. “I’m sorry our staff made you feel uncomfortable. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Uh yes, actually,” Jimin clears his throat. Is… Is Jeongguk here? I mean, Is he in the office?”

Namjoon shakes his head, brows drawing in confusion. “No. I haven’t seen him in a couple of days. Since he’s finished his article he was given some time off to rest.”

“Oh.” sh*t. Where could he be. “O-okay, thank you anyway.”

Namjoon smiles warmly. “It’s great to finally meet you, by the way. Jeongguk talks about you a lot. I’m glad you guys have become close. He actually doesn’t have many friends here in the city. Its just me and Yoongi. Most of the time he just keeps his head down and focuses on work. But I’ve noticed he’s really brightened up since you’ve been spending time together. You must be a good influence on him. You make him happier.”

A lump forms in Jimin’s throat and he swallows it down. Ever since he can remember he has been taught that he is a drain on the people around him. As he’s gotten older, his anxiety has further drilled that sentiment into his brain. But for him to make another person so much happier that their closest friends see the change? Jimin didn’t know he hand that kind of worth.

“Have you tried calling him?” Namjoon asks.

“I think his phone is off,” Jimin says, because he hopes that’s the reason Jeongguk isn’t answering. “Thank you for your help, especially out in the foyer… Um, if I leave you my number, can you call me if you see him?” Namjoon nods, taking out his phone for Jimin to put his number in.

“No selling it,” he jokes as he hands back the phone.

Namjoon raises his hands. “I wouldn’t dare, Jeongguk would kill me.” He quickly gives Jimin a missed call so he has his number. As Jimin turns to leave he feels a little burst of courage, so says what he’s thinking. “It was nice meeting someone who cares about Jeongguk as much as I do.”

Namjoon nods. “I’m sure we’ll get to see a lot more of each other in the future. Also, nice hoodie.”

Jimin looks down at Jeongguk’s hoodie, bunching his hands in the front of the soft fabric. “Thanks. It’s Jeongguk’s.”

Namjoon smiles knowingly. “I know. It suits you.”

—

Jimin can only think of one other place that Jeongguk could be. He bites at his nail as he watches the buildings turn to trees, the taxi following the route that Jimin recognises. Except the last time he was in the passenger side of Jeongguk’s car.

After about fifteen minutes of driving uphill they round a corner, and arrive at the viewpoint. Jeongguk’s happy place. The place he comes to when he needs to get away and clear his head.

The taxi drops Jimin off at the side of the road, and Jimin adjusts his mask and hood one last time before thanking the driver and getting out of the car. Once the taxi pulls away, Jimin feels like he’s the only person for miles. He takes off his mask, and takes a deep breath, letting the cool air brush against his skin.

This place makes him feel like he doesn’t have to have his guard up. He feels so far away from it all. Like he can just be Jimin. He’s only felt this way one other place, which was when he was with Jeongguk in the boathouse by the sea.

Jimin really hopes Jeongguk is here, because if not he must have gone back to his family’s home, and Jimin doesn’t know how exactly to get there again.

Jimin follows the path Jeongguk had lead him on before, through the path among the trees. Desperation makes his feet move faster, his breath quickening. He stumbles a few times on tree roots, having to steady himself by grabbing branches, but finally he comes to the hidden viewpoint over Seoul, the trees falling away and the sky opening up in front of him. The sun is setting now, and the whole city is cast in a pink glow, the lights of the distant buildings twinkling like stars.

The whole area is empty, except for one person. He’s sitting on a bench with his back to Jimin, looking out over the city. His hair is loose and un-styled, messy in that way that makes Jimin’s toes curl. Jimin’s stomach flips, and he lets out a shaky sigh of relief.

He found Jeongguk.

Jeongguk takes a deep breath, his shoulders sagging. Even from behind he looks so sad. He must have come here to clear his head. He looks so small, sitting there on his own, and Jimin’s heart hurts knowing that he is the cause of Jeongguk’s sadness. He chastises himself for letting his anxiety cloud his reasoning, for jumping to the worst possible conclusions before hearing Jeongguk out, because of course Jeongguk wouldn’t have published something like that. Now that he sees him again, he knows how silly of a notion that was.

Because Jeongguk has been there for him time and time again. He reassured him when he was at his lowest, he defended him, he comforted him. Whenever he felt as if he was falling, Jeongguk was always there to catch him. Because that’s the kind of person Jeongguk is.

Jimin walks towards him, climbing up the steps of the pagoda where he stood all those weeks ago, when they had done their trust fall bonding exercise, when Jimin had fallen into Jeongguk’s arms for the first time.

“Jeongguk-ah…” Jimin calls out, his voice cracking with emotion.

Jeongguk’s head whips around, his eyes wide with a mixture of surprise and disbelief. Even from where Jimin is standing, he can see that Jeongguk’s face is puffy, eyes red and cheeks tear stained. He stands up shakily, taking a hesitant step forward. “J-Jimin-hyung? …What are you doing here?”

“You’re a difficult man to find, Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin chokes, a lump forming in his throat when he sees Jeongguk smile a watery smile, wiping at his eyes.

“Speak for yourself.”

Jimin chuckles, taking a step forward. “What are you doing just standing there, hm?” He turns, holding his arms out to the side and letting his eyes fall closed. “Catch me!”

He hears Jeongguk’s footsteps pounding towards him, running to him. So he lets himself fall, because he knows for certain that Jeongguk will catch him.

Jeongguk will always catch him.

His stomach lurches as he falls backwards, and then strong arms wrap around him, a solid chest against his back cushioning his fall. And then Jimin is in Jeongguk’s arms and it’s like nothing happened, like they are back under Jeongguk’s sheets together, all of Jimin’s anxiety melting away.

Jeongguk’s hold is crushing as he moulds himself to Jimin’s back. He buries his face into Jimin’s neck, a sob escaping his lips. Jimin lifts his hand and threads it into Jeongguk’s soft hair as his own eyes brim with tears.

“Im sorry, hyung, I’m so s-sorry-”

Jimin turns in Jeongguk’s hold putting his hands on his cheeks and lifting his face. “It’s okay, Jeongguk-ah,” he says as he wipes at Jeongguk’s tears with his thumbs. “I’m sorry too. I should have heard you out. I shouldn’t have run away like that. I’m sorry I worried you.”

Jeongguk shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have even written all those a-awful things… the fact you had to read them, and coming from me… when I p-promised you-”

“Hey, look at me,” Jimin says, and Jeongguk finally meets his eyes, his face crestfallen. “We both know we didn’t exactly hit it off when we first met.” Jeongguk snorts, shaking his head, and Jimin chuckles. “We both said things we didn’t mean at the beginning. But that was then, and this is now. So shall we agree that we are both sorry on behalf of our past selves, hm?” Jimin is still wiping at Jeongguk’s tears which don’t seem to be stopping any time soon.

“I’m just sorry you had to read that.”

“It’s really okay.”

“I didn’t mean any of it hyung. Even at the time, I knew I was writing a load of bullsh*t. I was just… venting.”

“That’s good to know. Let’s just forget about it now, okay?”

Jeongguk nods, diving back into Jimin’s neck again. Jimin’s feet lift off the floor and he lets out a watery laugh as he melts into Jeongguk’s arms, letting the tears fall that have been building all day. This time they’re not tears of sadness, but tears of relief, tears of happiness, of hope. He strokes at Jeongguk’s hair, both of them holding each other tightly.

“I read your article,” Jimin whispers, “your real one.”

Jeongguk finally pulls back hearing that, lowering Jimin onto his feet once more. “You read it?”

Jimin nods, feeling himself choke up again as he remembers Jeongguk’s beautiful words. “I loved it Jeongguk-ah. It’s the only article that has ever been written about me- the real me. I had no idea I needed it until I read the words for myself. It felt like you were speaking to me, telling me all the things I’ve needed to hear my whole life. Just…thank you.”

Jeongguk smiles, reaching up to stroke Jimin’s cheek. “I wanted to show you how I see you hyung. Wanted to show you how I feel, because… because I love you… I love you Park Jimin, so f*cking much.”

It feels like time stops for a moment, and then Jimin is hit with such euphoria he feels like his heart is bursting from his chest. He lets out a joyful laugh, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. “I love you too, Jeongguk-ah,” he says when he pulls back to look at the man who has his heart, “I really love you.”

Jeongguk crumbles into tears again, and Jimin giggles as he pulls Jeongguk in and presses kisses to his salty cheeks, before capturing his lips again. Jimin’s hood falls down, but for once he doesn’t care. It’s just them and the pink sky, the city far in the distance. Even if someone saw them, he doesn’t think he would even care, he’s too caught up in Jeongguk. His sweet, loving, supportive, gentle Jeongguk.

They kiss until they’re both breathless, and then Jeongguk tugs Jimin over to the bench where they sit down side by side. Jeongguk pulls Jimin tight against him, and Jimin lays his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder, his heart finally at peace. He yawns, covering his mouth with his hand. “Oh god… I didn’t realise how exhausted I am. Why didn’t you answer your phone? I’ve been trying to find you all afternoon. I was really worried, especially after hearing your messages.”

“It ran out of battery,” Jeongguk mumbles against the side of his head, “and I didn’t want to charge it again just to have you not call. But then ironically it turns out you were calling.”

“I’m sorry.”

Jeongguk takes Jimin’s chin in his hand to kiss him again, his lips soft and warm and a little salty with dried tears. “Don’t ever run away from me like that again. I think I’ve aged ten years. Seriously.”

“Im sorry. I wont do it again.” Jimin brushes their noses together.

“Even if there’s a misunderstanding, let’s talk it out, okay? Running away doesn’t solve anything.”

“Okay. You’re right.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“You have to do the pinky thing for it to count.”

Jimin chuckles, threading his pinky finger with Jeongguk’s. “Promise.”

“Wow… so tiny,” Jeongguk comments, lifting their linked fingers to inspect Jimin’s hand. His face is still swollen from crying, and Jimin feels his heart melt. He presses a kiss to Jeongguk’s lips and then stands up, pulling Jeongguk up with him, threading their hands together. They walk side by side, Jeongguk’s thumb drawing circles on the back of Jimin’s hand as the sky turns dusky, more of a purple hue now.

“Thank god you were here, and not in your hometown,” Jimin says as the walk through the trees. “I was getting ready to pack a suitcase to try and hunt you down.”

Jeongguk hums. “I did consider going there to clear my head, but i didn’t want to be that far away from you. You really would have gone all the way to Cheongsapo?”

Jimin nods. “Of course I would have. Although, I can’t remember exactly how to get to the boathouse because it’s so off-grid… but I do remember how to get to your parents restaurant, so I would have gone there to try and track you down.”

They reach the lay-by where Jeongguk’s car is parked, hidden by the trees. “You really love me, huh?” Jeongguk grins, swinging their hands, “going all the way there for me...”

“Of course I do. And anyway, I really loved being in Cheongsapo with you.”

When they reach the car, Jeongguk slides his arms around Jimin from behind before he gets a chance to open the door. “Shall we go right now?” He mumbles as he pressed kisses to Jimin’s neck. “Back to the boathouse?”

Jimin lets his head drop back onto Jeongguk’s shoulder. “You have no idea how much I’d love that,” he sighs, looking up at the now dark sky above them. “But I need to sort things out here first. I need to have my official meeting with the company to discuss the termination of my contract. I have to film the last scenes of the drama. And my press conference announcing my retirement- I don’t even want to think about that. But…” he turns in Jeongguk’s arms, “after its all over, can we go back then? I need to rest. I’m so tired.”

Jeongguk’s eyes turn soft and he leans in to nose at Jimin’s cheek. “Of course we can. There’s nothing I’d love more.” He kisses the corner of Jimin’s lips, and Jimin feels that tingle he always feels in his stomach when Jeongguk tightens his arms around him. “I want to whisk you away and keep you hidden just for me. Get us both away from everything. Just for a while.”

“I’d love that,” Jimin sighs in response. Because the thought of running away with Jeongguk is the thing that is going to get him through all the sh*t that is going to fill the next couple of weeks.

“You know I’ll be right beside you right?” Jeongguk says, looking in to his eyes. “For all the meetings and the conference, everything, I’ll be there the whole time.”

Jimin’s heart had never felt so full. He reaches up and pushes Jeomgguk’s hair back from his face. “I love you so much Jeon Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk smiles that cute bunny smile that makes his nose scrunch up, true one that gives Jimin butterflies. “I love you too.”

Their lips meet in a kiss that instantly turns heated, Jeongguk’s tongue licking along Jimin’s bottom lip. Jimin slips his arms around Jeongguk’s neck as he is pressed against the side of the car, letting out a whimper as Jeongguk kisses him deeper. “Jeongguk-ah,” he mumbles against his lips, “someone could come…”

Jeongguk groans, and then suddenly the car door is pulled open beside him and Jimin’s being tugged into the back seat. Jeongguk closes the door behind them, and then they are on each other again, lips against lips, hands caressing each other’s bodies. The sounds of their lips smacking grow louder inside the car, and Jimin whimpers as Jeongguk moans his name against his lips.

“J-Jeongguk-ah, someone will see us…” Jimin pants between kisses. He’s never done anything like this before, making out in the back of a car. He’s always hidden away, careful not to get caught. This is very unlike him, but he’s feeling very needy and extremely turned on, and whenever Jeongguk kisses him he can’t seem to resist.

Jeongguk breaks the kiss, looking down at Jimin with hunger in his eyes. “These windows are blacked out, hyung. No one will see.”

Jimin narrows his eyes, chewing on his bottom lip. “Let me check,” he says pushing Jeongguk back and climbing over him to get out of the car. Once outside, Jimin checks there is no one around, which there isn’t, then he closes the door and steps back, surveying the car windows sceptically. The car bounces up and down a little, indicating that Jeongguk is moving around inside, probably doing some comical gestures, but Jimin can’t see anything. He’s right. The windows are completely blacked out.

Jimin opens the car door again, and Jeongguk’s big sparkling brown eyes look back at him expectantly from the back seat. “See?” He says with a mischievous grin, “you couldn’t see me, could you?”

Jimin climbs into the car and straight into Jeongguk’s lap, pulling the door closed behind him, and capturing Jeongguk’s lips in a searing kiss. Even with the glass blacked out, this isn’t something Jimin would have done previously, but with Jeongguk he feels safe. Jeongguk is safe. And Jimin needs him.

Jeongguk seems thrilled with the development and slips his hands down over the swell of Jimin’s ass, pulling him so they mould together against the leather seat, Jimin’s knees either side of Jeongguk’s hips. They fit together so perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle which always belonged together.

With Jeongguk writhing under him a spark of boldness take over- a need to show Jeongguk how much he means to him. “Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin sighs as he starts to roll his hips, grinding down into Jeongguk’s lap.

Jimin is quickly feeling heady, his cheeks flushed, eyes blurry as he slips his tongue into Jeongguk’s mouth, the two of them kissing like they’ve been starved for each other. Jeongguk groans, fingers digging into Jimin’s hips in a bruising grip. Jimin breaks the kiss to look down at the man he loves. He seems just as affected as Jimin is, his big eyes red rimmed and lips swollen. He looks at Jimin in a way Jimin has never experienced before, with a smile that promises a long life full of love.

Jimin feels a tear slip from the corner of his eye, warm as it trails down his cheek. “My Jeongguk…” he whispers, stroking his fingers through Jeongguk’s soft hair. The words so naturally roll off his tongue, feeling like they’re answering a question he has been silently asking.

Jeongguk’s movements falter, and he pulls back to looks at Jimin with glassy eyes, “…say that again.”

“…my Jeongguk.”

“Again.” Jeongguk brushes their noses together, his smile growing. Jimin looks into his deep brown eyes and finds all the answers he has ever needed. Jeongguk is irrevocably his. The thought sends a shiver down his spine.

“My Jeongguk,” Jimin says again, willing to chant it as many times as Jeongguk needs him to, “my sweet, beautiful Jeongguk.” His eyes fall closed when Jeongguk captures his lips in a searing kiss, and it’s as if they are the only two people in the world in this moment.

Jeongguk’s strong hands wrap around his waist and then he’s being lifted. His hoodie bunching up, the leather cool under his back as he is laid down across the back seat. Jimin’s breath hitches as Jeongguk slips between his legs and nips at his neck, his hands slipping up under his hoodie, fingers brushing over his ribs. Jimin lets out a groan when Jeongguk thumbs over his nipple. It’s cramped in the back of Jeongguk’s car, making Jimin feel that much hotter under Jeongguk’s touch.

Jimin bites down his bottom lip, trying not to be too loud in the small space, but Jeongguk presses his thumb between Jimin’s lips to stop him biting them. “Let me hear you, hyung,” he murmurs against Jimin’s jaw. “It’s just you and me.” Jimin gasps when he feels Jeongguk’s hand dip below the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers, wrapping around his already leaking co*ck.

“f*ck- Jeongguk-” Jimin chokes out when Jeongguk starts to move his hand, touching him in a way that has his back arching. He cant help himself when his legs part a little more, like he’s offering himself to Jeongguk. His thighs tremble as Jeongguk thumbs over the head of his co*ck which is now flushed a deep pink.

Before he can even fully get his head around what’s happening, Jeongguk tugs Jimin’s sweatpants and boxers off and pushes his legs up until he’s practically folded in half. Jeongguk’s hoodie that Jimin wears pools around his chest as Jeongguk leans in and runs a tongue across Jimin’s rim, pulling a sound from Jimin that he has never heard himself make before. He slams his hand over his mouth in surprise, his chest heaving.

No one has ever done this to him before. He pushes weakly at Jeongguk’s forehead, and Jeongguk looks up at him, his eyes filled with a hunger that makes Jimin’s hole twitch embarrassingly. “Is this okay?” Jeongguk asks, pressing a kiss to Jimin’s inner thigh.

Jimin’s cheeks feel like they’ve been lit on fire that this point, and he’s sure he has never been this red before. The angle he’s at doesn’t help- with his knees either side of his head, his blood rushing and making him dizzy. But still, he nods, running his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair and pushing it back. He feels so exposed, and yet he wants to give more, everything that he can offer, he wants to give to Jeongguk.

“Feels so good,” he whines, and that’s all Jeongguk needs to hear, strong fingers pressing into Jimin’s thighs as he laps and sucks at Jimin’s entrance. Jimin can’t keep quiet anymore, he doesn’t even want to, and instead lets a torrent of moans slip from his lips as he trembles under Jeongguk.

“So good for me,” Jeongguk says before pushing his tongue past Jimin’s rim. It’s a sensation Jimin’s never felt before, so hot and wet, and it pushes Jimin over the edge. His org*sm hits him like a train, making his vision white out for a second and all he can do is cry Jeongguk’s name as he spills over his chest, his thighs instinctively clamping shut around Jeongguk’s head like a vice.

Jeongguk groans as he slips his tongue from Jimin’s hole and gently tugs himself free from Jimin’s crushing thighs. Jimin feels like he’s turning to rubber, practically melting into the leather as the last of his org*sm quakes through him. Jeongguk curses under his breath as he pulls back, then he’s shifting to unzip the front of his own jeans, pushing them down and starting to stroke himself quickly.

Realising that Jeongguk is planning to finish himself off, Jimin finds a second burst of energy, and with determination he unfold’s himself and pushes Jeongguk to sit up in the seat before climbing into his lap again, straggling his hips. Jeongguk looks pleasantly surprised as Jimin slips his hand down between them to rub Jeongguk’s co*ck against his still twitching entrance. “I want you inside me,” Jimin breathes, lips falling open as he pushes Jeongguk’s co*ckhead against the sensitive ring of muscle. “Wanna- wanna ride you.”

“Hyung, I want you so bad,” Jeongguk whines as he grips Jimin’s hips, halting him momentarily with a slight furrow to his brows. “But I don’t have lube or a… wait-” his eyes widen with realisation. Jeongguk plants his feet on the floor and leans forwards, holding Jimin tightly around the waist as he reaches into the compartment between the two front seats. When he sits back, he has a condom in his hand.

Jimin raises an eyebrow. “Why do you have that in your car?”

“Long story…”

Jimin can’t help but laugh, reaching up and pinching Jeongguk’s nose playfully. His teasing smile doesn’t last long, as once Jeongguk has rolled on the condom and lubed himself and Jimin up with what was left in the condom packet, he’s guiding Jimin down, slowly easing into him.

Jimin bites at his lip as he feels Jeongguk slipping inside him inch by inch, until his ass presses flush against Jeongguk’s hips, his co*ck sheathed inside him all the way. Jeongguk curses under his breath as Jimin starts to roll his hips, grinding his co*ck deep inside until it hits that place that has his eyes rolling. He’s still sensitive from his org*sm, but he’s eager to please Jeongguk, bouncing in a steady rhythm while his thighs spread a far as they’ll go.

He must look a mess, his thighs burning and cheeks still ruddy, but when he looks at Jeongguk through his bleary vision, all he can see is fire in the others eyes. He feels like he’s awoken a sleeping dragon, because even though Jeongguk is whispering sweet words into his skin, his hips piston into Jimin without letup. Jimin drops his head back as he is hit with his second org*sm, Jeongguk’s arms tightening around him as he follows Jimin over the edge, his thrusts turning messy as he spills inside the condom.

Jimin feels like he’s melting, dropping forwards against Jeongguk’s shoulder as he tries to get control over his breathing. Usually Jimin would feel embarrassed, or even anxious to be caught in such a precarious situation. But right now, all he feels is content.

He nuzzles into Jeongguk’s neck, leaving kisses across his sweat dampened skin. “Well, that was fun,” he chuckles as he watches goosebumps rise under his touch. “I’ve never done that before. I hope no one saw us.”

“I mean- with the way this car was bouncing it’s probably moved into the next parking space over. But yeah I’m sure no one noticed,” Jeongguk says with a chuckle.

Jimin groans and buries his face further into Jeongguk’s neck, “I think we got carried away.”

“Let’s definitely get carried away more often,” Jeongguk sighs contently, stroking his hands up and down Jimin’s back. “Also you wearing my hoodie during sex is a kink I didn’t know I had.”

Jimin snorts, pinching Jeongguk’s side playfully. “It definitely needs washing now. It’s sticking to my chest.”

“Eww.”

“Hey,” Jimin whines, biting Jeongguk’s neck.

“Ow, I’m joking,” Jeongguk laughs, hugging Jimin tighter, “let’s be sticky together hyung.”

Jimin hums, burying further into Jeongguk’s chest. He can feel Jeongguk slowly softening inside him, but Jimin has no intention of moving. He is perfectly happy nestled in Jeongguk’s arms. “Want to go back to mine?” Jeongguk mumbles against his temple. Jimin nods in response, blinking slowly. He suddenly feels very tired, like theres been a huge release of tension inside him.

Jeongguk presses a kiss to his head. “Okay hyung, lets go hide away from the world, watch movies, and get delivery food. How does that sound?”

“Sounds perfect.”

———

“This is very unexpected Jimin-ssi. You’re currently at the top of your career. We expected you to re-sign your contract with us, not terminate it so suddenly.”

Jimin steels himself under the frustrated eyes of his management’s executive team where he’s sitting at the end of a long boardroom table. He feels like he’s been thrown to the wolves.

His personal manager has been nothing but supportive of Jimin since he told him that he was choosing to retire from the industry. But they have worked together for years, and he has seen Jimin at his worst. He knows what the limelight and the pressure of the industry does to Jimin, to his mental health.

The executives, and shareholders however, are a different thing altogether. They see Jimin as the prima donna that the rest of Korea views him as. A diva that they have to placate because he brings in money. But now that he’s sitting here telling them that he wants to terminate his contract, their fake smiles have slipped off.

Of course he expected them to be angry about the whole thing, Jimin is their biggest source of income, and once his retirement from acting is announced their stocks are sure to plummet. He can hear his pulse in his ears, his scalp prickling, and he forces himself to take a calming breaths. He refuses to show any weakness in front of these vultures.

“I truly am sorry that this throws you all off,“ he says with a steady voice, “but I have recently come to realise some things about myself, and my priority is my own mental health and well-being. I’ll finish all of my current commitments, but after that I’ll no longer be continuing with this company. I’m very thankful for the many years of support, and this choice is not a reflection of the company, but simply the industry in general. I hope you can all understand my decision.”

A grey-haired man sitting close to Jimin scoffs. “The media is going to have a field day with this. You’ll be slated. Is this what you want?”

Jimin sighs. “I just want to slip into ambiguity. People will forget about me pretty quickly, which is exactly what I want.”

One of the old men at the other end of the table leans forwards. “We’ll double your salary.”

Jimin clasps his hands in front of him. It’s not like he didn’t expect this reaction. He has his lawyer next to him, but he speaks clearly for himself. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m certain this is what I want to do.”

Some of the men look angry, some look sick, some look like they’ve come to accept that this is the way it is and they wont get him to change his mind.

“Very well.” One of the calmer executives at the end of the table speaks up. “If this is your final decision then we will schedule the official press conference in two weeks. That will give time for you to get things in ordered vis-à-vis your different contracts.”

Jimin feels his spine stiffen. He was hoping that by some miracle he might get away with not attending the press conference, but it looks like its inevitable. “Understood. Thank you for you time.” Jimin pushes his chair back and stands up, straightening out his shirt. He can feel how it sticks to his back uncomfortably due to his anxious sweating, and he subtly reaches behind him to tug the damp material away from his skin. All eyes are still on him, and he feels the sudden strong urge to run out of the room. But he has to remain professional, he can’t show any weakness that they could use against him to drag him back into further conversations in an attempt to tie him back into his contract. Legally they can’t do anything to stop him from terminating his contract, but Jimin knows from experience that wont stop them from trying.

“You can take up anything further with my lawyer,” Jimin says, gesturing to his lawyer who smiles politely. She’s been with him since he hired her to sue an excessively awful article for defamation, and since then that’s all she’s really been doing on his behalf. It must be nice for her to do something different for once rather than years of defamation cases. He bows formally to the executives, and to his lawyer, before turning and walking to the exit, trying not to break into a run.

When he pushes the door open, he sighs audibly in relief. Jeongguk, who is waiting for him outside, looks as nervous as him, pushing off of the wall he had been leaning against and raising his eyebrows questioningly. He holds two thumbs up in question, and Jimin gives a small nod, aware that eyes are probably still on him in the office hallway.

He walks straight to Jeongguk and grabs his hand which is still in a thumbs up position, tugging him down the hall as he glances left and right. Finally he finds an empty toilet, pulling Jeongguk inside and locking the door behind them.

“We always end up in a toilet-” Jeongguk comments, but before he can even finish the sentence properly, Jimin slips his arms around his waist and buries his face against Jeongguk’s chest.

He instantly feels his anxious heart calm as he breathes in Jeongguk’s scent.

“Did it go okay?” Jeongguk asks softly, hugging him tightly, one arm around his back and the other gently brushing through the hair at the back of his neck.

Jimin nods.

“They’ll let you terminate your contract?”

Jimin nods again. He wants to elaborate but at the moment his nerves are a mess and all he wants is for Jeongguk to hold him while he attempts to get his thoughts in order.

“That’s brilliant news,” Jeongguk mumbles into his hair, rubbing his back slowly. “It’s all working out hyung. I’m so proud of you.”

Jimin finally lifts his head, looking at Jeongguk. “Can we get out of here?”

“Of course.” Jeongguk begrudgingly lets Jimin go and they both exit the bathroom after checking that the coast was clear, putting back on a professional demeanour as they make their way down to the underground car park where Jeongguk has left his car.

Jimin finds it difficult to keep up appearances, because inside all he wants to do is jump back into Jeongguk’s arms. But he’s used to putting on an act when in public, so he keeps his features calm and collected as he walks beside Jeongguk, who easily mirrors the ‘professional’ manner. Jimin is thankful that Jeongguk doesn’t question it, and instead goes along with what Jimin feels comfortable doing in public.

“Guess what?” Jeongguk says as they reach his car.

“What?”

“Your issue of GQ has been released today. It hit shelves this morning.”

Jimin’s heart jumps in his chest. That came around quicker than he had expected. It’s something that has been in the back of his mind for almost three months, and now it’s done. It’s out there for the world to see.

Jimin feels both nervous and relieved. He always said he didn’t care about what people thought of him, and to an extent that was true. He had built his tough exterior to protect himself from people’s judgements, but he didn’t realise how much he really needed this. To have his name cleared.

“Let’s see what the Knets and media have to say about that,” he says as he tugs open the car door and slips into the passenger seat. “I bet they’ll be shocked that someone is actually on my side for once. They can’t gang up on me this time, can they?”

“Nope,” Jeongguk says as he pulls on his seatbelt. “Especially not with a famous journalist in your corner. Anyway, lets not think about them. They’re so miserable that they’ll probably just double down on their pathetic hate campaigns. But for the average member of the public, it’s great to show them an unbiased view on you.”

Mimin raises an eyebrow. “Unbiased?”

“Well, maybe a little biased.”

Jimin laughs, letting out a loud sigh and sinking into his seat as Jeongguk turns on the car and pulls out of the parking spot. So much weight has already been lifted off his shoulders. He!s never felt so light in his life.

Jimin’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and he looks down at the screen to see Seokjin’s calling.

“Hi hyung,” Jimin says into the phone, “what’s up?”

“Jimin-ah!” Jin practically shouts down the phone, “did you see the GQ article is out? Did you read it? It’s amazing! I’m crying on set and my makeup artist is angry at me for ruining my makeup! I wasn’t sure what to expect honestly, but this is unlike any article I’ve read before. It reads like a f*cking love letter to you!”

Jimin feels himself blush. A love letter. Maybe it is something like that.

“Of course I read it, hyung.”

“Yeah? How do you feel?”

Jimin sighs. “Happy… very happy.”

“You should be. And you deserve to be. Someone finally shutting up all those vultures who sh*t on you every day! I’m on top of the world right now!” Jimin hears a woman’s voice telling Jin to calm down. “Ah, sorry,” he says back to her.

“It’s honestly a bit surreal to have an article actually be positive about me, hyung. Even in the past if there was a positive article it was bragging about awards or achievements, making me seem like this untouchable superstar one minute, then making me fall from grace the next. But this article… it’s so perfect hyung.” Jimin looks over at Jeongguk as he speaks. “Jeongguk just talks about me like I’m a regular person, with regular feelings. I never thought someone would see me for who I am, let alone write it down in such a beautiful way.”

Jeongguk is, of course listening to the whole conversation and Jimin notices the tips of his ears turning red while he pretends not to listen. Jimin smiles, reaching out to scratch at the back of Jeongguk’s neck gently.

The car pulls off of the main road and into a side road, and Jimin glances at Jeongguk to see him searching the shopfronts with his eyes squinted in concentration. He then pulls the car over suddenly, putting on the hazard lights and turning to Jimin. “Wait here a second, baby.”

Jimin’s heart flutters at how nice the pet name sounds coming from Jeongguk’s lips, and how easily he says it.

“Uh, o-okay.” Jimin stutters as Jeongguk get out of the car. Once Jeongguk is gone Jimin lifts his hand and presses it to his cheek, feeling the heat radiating off it. The way this man makes him blush is unreal and he didn’t even do anything except call Jimin ‘baby’.

Jin was still on the phone rambling in his ear about his favourite parts of the article, especially the photo of Jin hugging Jimin in his apartment after their game of Halli Galli, but when he hears Jeongguk call out ‘baby’ he goes silent.

“Uh, sorry hyung, what where you saying?” Jimin says quickly into the phone.

“You two are adorable.” Jin replies, his voice sickly sweet. “So, you’re at that stage of your relationship, huh?”

“Hyung…” Jimin feels his face heat up even more.

“Are you using protection?” He whispers down the phone, “You know, even if you two are both clean it’s still important.”

“Hyung,” Jimin squeaks, “I’m not answering that. Are you free tomorrow night?”

“For you? Always.”

“I want to throw a surprise party for Jeongguk. A sort of celebration that his big article is out… and a thank you. I’ll do it at my place. Is Tae with you?”

“He is.”

“Can you let him know the plans?”

“Will do. I’ll bring Halli Galli.”

“Nope,” Jimin puts his foot down, “No Halli Galli.”

“I’m sorry, what was that? I can’t hear you, you’re breaking up,” Jin says through the perfectly clear line, “see you tomorrow night!” He quickly hangs up with a click before Jimin can get anther word in.

Jimin chuckles, pulling up Kakao Talk to send a message to Namjoon. He wants all the important people in Jeongguk’s life to be there, so he types a quick invitation out for him and Yoongi. Namjoon replies almost instantly with a confirmation, and Jimin sends him his address, with the warning not to sell it. Namjoon replies with a laughing emoji and Jimin smiles at his phone. He then sends a message to Hobi, letting him know the plans and asking him if he is able to come earlier to help him set up.

Once he sends the messages, the driver’s car door opens and Jeongguk slips inside again. “Look what I found.” He holds up an issue of GQ with Jimin’s photo on the front. “I know as the writer and an employee of GQ I can get dozens of issues for free, but I wanted to buy it officially, you know?”

Jimin’s feels a warmth in his chest as he takes the magazine that Jeongguk offers to him. “That’s so sweet. Did you find it easily?”

“I went into YP Books, and at first I couldn’t find it anywhere, so I asked a member of staff and they said the issue has been flying off the shelves! She had just brought out another box from the back to re-stock the shelves. She thinks they’ll sell out before the end of the day. Isn’t that amazing?”

Jimin’s eyes widen in surprise. “They’re really selling out?”

Jeongguk nods. “Like crazy. You know, Yoongi said this issue will a best seller and he wasn’t wrong.” Jeongguk fastens his seatbelt and they set off again. “I think there will be some big changes to how the public perceive you. Not to brag or anything,” he grins. Jimin huffs and playfully bats at Jeongguk’s arm. Jeongguk turns the music up a little and pulls the car away from the curb.

The car journey back to Jeongguk’s place is calming, all of the day’s worries and anxiety seeming to leak out of him as the car moves steadily through the Seoul traffic. As he listens to Jeongguk’s music playlists he finds himself nodding off, feeling Jeongguk reach over and stroke softly at his hand. Besides Hobi, Jimin has never felt safe enough around someone that he can let his guard down completely. It’s a feeling he never thought he would be able to have with someone else. But then along came Jeongguk.

Jeongguk hums along to the music gently, and it reminds Jimin of dancing in his arms beside the Han river. With the memory filling his mind, Jimin lets himself fall asleep with Jeongguk’s fingers loosely tangled between his.

———

Explaining everything to his grandmother goes easier than Jimin expected, and Jimin is reminded why he loves her so much. For a woman who was in much the same situation as he has been, thrust into the spotlight from a young age, she has always remained kind and humble. She never let any of it change her, in fact she always went out of her way to be the person to change the opinion of the public. And she’s done it again for Jimin this time. In a way all this has been her doing.

If it wasn’t for her, Jimin would have never met Jeongguk. He would have never been able to clear his image, and he would have probably never been able to gain the confidence and determination to leave this life that’s been making him so sick.

His grandmother adored the article Jeongguk wrote, the magazine sitting open on her coffee table. She even mentioned that she had called Jeongguk and thanked him excessively for such a job well done.

He sits with her for hours in her plush office, drinking tea and explaining why he wants to retire from acting, and live a quiet life out of the entertainment industry. She simply smiles at him with that same beautiful and kind smile she always has, pulling him into a hug.

“All I’ve ever wanted is for you is to be happy. Your mother has always tried to force you to follow in our footsteps, but I’ve seen that it’s not something you’ve ever enjoyed. I stayed relatively quiet because ultimately it’s your decision whether to stay or leave. But I think leaving is the best decision you’ve made, and I’m so proud of you. Don’t worry about your parents. I’ll talk with them. I’ll make sure they keep in line about all this. I’ll always be here to support you whenever you need it, my lovely Jimin, so don’t be scared for what the future will bring.” She smiles and pinches his cheek. “Embrace the unknown, that’s where the adventures are.”

———

“I’ll be there in about five minutes. Are you sure you don’t want me to pick up food on the way?”

“No. It’s fine,”Jimin replies nonchalantly, trying not to give anything away over the phone. “Just bring yourself, and we can decide on food when you get here.”

“Okay. I’m almost there.”

Jimin has added Jeongguk to his list of people who can leave and enter his apartment without being stopped by security. He also let Jeongguk know the door code, so now Jeongguk can come and go without any problem. He even seems to have made friends with the security team. They all seem to light up when they see Jeongguk. Jimin can’t blame them.

“Okay, see you in a minute,” Jimin says before hanging up the phone.

He turns to look at the five other people gathered in his living room, a congratulations banner on the wall and balloons added to make the party a little more special. “He will be here five minutes.”

“I love surprises parties,” Taehyung claps excitedly, “has Jeongguk ever had one before?” He turns to ask Yoongi, who is sitting crossed legged on the sofa.

Yoongi shakes his head. “I don’t think so. Maybe when he was a child? But not since he’s moved to Seoul. It was a really nice idea.” He smiles at Jimin. “And the fact that you organised it, he will probably hit the ceiling,” he chuckles.

Namjoon and Yoongi had arrived a little earlier than the others, and it had given Jimin the chance to sit down and get to know them a little. He’d learned right away that they adore Jeongguk like he’s family, and Jimin instantly knew he liked them already. Jeongguk had told Jimin that his friends were openly gay, and though Jeongguk himself hadn’t said anything about Jimin’s sexuality to them, they seemed to already know that Jimin and Jeongguk were an item, and that made things less awkward for Jimin. He wasn’t used to coming out to new people, so he was actually quite relieved that they had put two and two together. Jimin also got the vibes that they themselves were something closer than friends. With the subtle touches and looks they were exchanging with each other, it sort of felt like he had met another set of Jeongguk’s in-laws.

Jimin quickly checks around the apartment, to make sure everything is set up properly. There’s a few different dishes on the kitchen countertop. Jimin had tried his best to make kimchi-jjigae, along with some seasoned rice balls and side dishes. It’s not perfect, Jimin isn’t really used to cooking for himself, let alone seven people, but he thinks it wasn’t a complete failure, and Yoongi had helped him a bit. He nervously stirs the simmering pot.

Hobi comes over, rubbing at Jimin’s shoulders, “Jimin-ah, you okay?”

Jimin nods. “Yeah, just a bit nervous. Does it look good?”

Hoseok gives him a hug from behind. “It looks amazing, the food smells delicious. I’s so proud of you for setting this all up. You’re really pushing yourself out of your comfort zone recently,” he glances at Namjoon and Yoongi. “I know they’re close to Jeongguk, but I never expected you to invite people you haven’t really met before. You’re really putting yourself out there. I’m seriously so proud of you.”

Jimin smiles, that familiar comfort he has always felt with Hobi washing over him as his best friend hugs him. “Who would have thought the Editor-in- chief of GQ magazine would be sitting in my living room, drinking my homemade punch?”

Hobi blows out a breath. “Wild.”

“They’re really nice.”

“I know.”

“How am I now friends with three members of the press, hyung? What have I become?”

Hobi laughs. “These are wild times. I mean, you’re literally retiring from acting. That’s a huge deal. Did you ever think that would happen?”

Jimin chews on his bottom lip. “I honestly thought I’d end up dying in this career. These last few months have been a rollercoaster. But I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Hobi gives Jimin a tight squeeze. “Okay, lets turn off the lights and get into position,” he suggests, and Jimin nods following him back over into the living room where Seokjin is handing out confetti cannons.

After a couple more minutes, the beeping from the front door code sounds out, and Jeongguk opens and closes the door behind him. “Uh… Jimin-hyung?” He calls out, stepping further into the apartment. “Hello?” Jimin hears him walk slowly and carefully into the entrance of the living room, fumbling around for the light switch, finally turning on the light.

“Surprise!” Everyone shouts and the confetti cannons blast into the air, showering confetti over a very stunned Jeongguk. He blinks a few times, eyes looking around to take it all in before laughing joyfully.

“What is all this?”

“Congratulations on your big article!” Taehyung shouts, and the others join in, calling out the same.

Jeongguk looks over at Jimin in disbelief, and Jimin can’t hold back the smile on his face.

“Hyung, you arranged this?”

Jimin nods, and Jeongguk walks over, pulling him into a tight hug. He presses a kiss to his cheek before pulling back with glassy eyes. “I don’t know what to say…,”

Jimin chuckles, bringing a hand up to stroke at his cheek. “You like it?”

Jeongguk nods. “I don’t think anyone has ever thrown a surprise party for me. This is amazing. Thank you so much, baby.”

“Get a room!” Seokjin calls out jokingly, and Taehyung hits him with a cushion.

Jimin and Jeongguk both laugh, pulling away with equally red cheeks. It fells strange that he doesn’t have to hide his sexuality in front of these people. That they’re all looking at him and Jeongguk without a change in their expression or their opinion of them. It’s nice to be able to relax, and truly be himself. It’s something he never thought possible when he was younger and coming to terms with his sexuality.

“The food smells amazing.”

“Jimin made it all,” Yoongi says, walking over to ruffle Jeongguk’s hair. “Congratulations for making me and you a hell of a lot richer this month. ” Jeongguk chuckles, batting Yoongi’s hand away.

“You can all help yourself,” Jimin calls out, gesturing to the kitchen before he makes his way over to the speaker system and presses play on the music again. The party playlist he had made filters through the sound system and everyone makes their way over to get food.

Jeongguk is behind him again in a second, wrapping his arms around his waist. “You’re amazing.”

“It’s nothing big,” Jimin says with a shy smile. “Just a thank you for everything. And this article is a big deal for you too, so it’s something that deserves to be celebrated.”

Jeongguk presses a kiss behind his ear. “I kind of wish we were alone…”

Jimin giggles, peeling Jeongguk’s arms from around him, and turning to look into his big brown eyes. For a moment he wishes the same thing. “I’m sure you can hold on for a few hours.”

“No promises.”

The group all eat Jimin’s stew, and Jimin’s nerves settle down when he sees that no one is grimacing, and all seem to genuinely be enjoying it. Before he knows it all the bowls are scraped clean, and the group settle together in the large living area. The space is filled with laughter and music, and despite Jimin’s protests Halli Galli is quickly pulled out by Seokjin, and the group take it in turns to play. Yoongi is surprisingly good, and Seokjin yet again finds himself struggling to maintain his champion title.

Jimin curls up against Jeongguk in the corner of the sofa, his head nestled into the crook of his neck as Jeongguk absentmindedly runs his fingers up and down his arm. Every time Jeongguk laughs his fingers still, and Jimin nudges him, before he starts to draw patterns again. Jimin could easily fall asleep if he’s not careful.

His apartment has always felt too big for him, too empty and sterile. He would spend the days he doesn’t have a schedule sitting on his own on his large sofa watching television until he falls asleep. He never thought this space could ever be filled with so much laughter and warmth.

As the evening progresses, the atmosphere calms, and the conversations turn more intimate. The subject of Jimin’s retirement comes up, and although it comes as no surprise to the majority, Namjoon and Yoongi didn’t see it coming.

“I just… I’m not made for the limelight. It’s not good for my health, or my happiness. I spent a lot of my life just soldiering through, and forcing myself to keep going in some attempt to please others.” Jimin doesn’t say names, but his parents faces flash in his mind. Especially his mother’s disapproving scowl which always manages to hurt him in a way nothing else does. He shifts, and Jeongguk gives a reassuring squeeze to his knee. “This time I want to do something for me. Start fresh, you know?”

Yoongi nods in understanding. “You’ve had it rough in this industry. Now I’ve gotten to know you, I had no clue how much of a punching bag they were turning you into. I’m glad it has all been exposed in Jeongguk’s article. If you need anything, GQ will always have your back.” He has a kind smile, and Jimin sees why Jeongguk cares for him so much. If someone like Yoongi has your back, what is there to be afraid of?

“Thanks you, I appreciate it.” Jimin smiles back at him.

“So, you’re going to do a press conference?” Namjoon asks, sitting on the rug, his back resting up against the chair where Yoongi sits, long legs stretched out under the coffee table.

Jimin feels that familiar spike of anxiety crawl up his spine. That feeling he always gets when the press are mentioned. “Yeah. I have no say in it. The company is already pissed that I’m not re-signing my contract, they want me to explain it to the media.”

“What we all come?” Taehyung suggests, glancing around the room. “You did so well at the award ceremony before. We can support you again like that.”

“I…” Jimin should say no. As far as he is aware this is going to be a pretty high-scale press conference, and he shouldn’t cause any issues. But then again, why can’t have his friends there? “…Would that be okay?” His voice comes out small as he glances around at all of them, before his eyes land on Jeongguk beside him. He doesn’t want to be a pain, but he really does feel like he will crumble on stage in front of all those reporters.

Jeongguk gives him a look that says ‘are you crazy?’ “Hyung. I thought it was already assumed that I would be there. I’ve already planned how to weasel my way onto the stage with you.”

“What?” Jimin frowns. He isn’t sure if Jeongguk is joking or not. He looks serious.

Yoongi answers Jimin’s confusion. “I’ve already gotten a lot of feedback about Jeongguk’s article. It’s been suggested that he hold a press conference answer some of the public’s questions.”

Jeongguk nods. “So I suggested that we do both at the same time. The article and the fact you are retiring are linked anyway. A lot of the reasons are explained in the article. So, yeah,” he grins, “it gives me an excuse to be right there with you.”

“You’re going to be next to me?”

“Is that okay?”

Jimin nods quickly. “Yes, please.”

“Sorted!” Hobi claps, “and we will all be there too. So don’t worry.”

Jeongguk pulls Jimin into his arms. “We’ve always got your back, Jimin-hyung.”

Warmth blossom in Jimin’s chest as he mets into Jeongguk’s hold. “I know you do.”

———

Just breathe.

Just breathe.

Jimin breathes in deeply through his nose, exhaling a shaky breath. It doesn’t help. His breathing quickly becomes quick and shallow. His heart is thundering against his ribs, the feeling of panic thick in his throat.

He tries to look at himself in the bathroom mirror, gripping the sink to ground himself, but his reflection is blurry.

“sh*t,” Jimin whimpers, stumbling backwards until his back hits the wall behind him and he slides down to the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. He drops his head back as his vision blurs at the sides, everything turning blue as a prickling sensation runs across his scalp. He digs his nails into his palms, the sharp pain cutting through the haze somewhat.

He can hear a knocking, but it sounds distant through the ringing in his ears.

“Jimin-ah?” Hobi’s voice comes through the door. He sounds worried. “Are you okay? They’re ready to start the press conference…”

Jimin drops his head against his knees, his breathing ragged. He hates this. Any time the press are involved his anxiety shoots through the roof. The idea of an entire conference hall full of them asking him questions, and him having to sit in front of them and force a smile makes him feel like a sheep thrown to ravenous wolves.

He can only imagine what they’ll ask.

The door clicks open and theres a shuffling sound before a cool hand presses against Jimin’s cheek and his face is being lifted.

Jeongguk. Jeongguk’s here.

Jeongguk cradles Jimin’s face in his hands as he looks at him with wide eyes full of concern. Hobi is the other side of him, equally as worried.

“Breathe, baby,” he hushes as his thumbs carefully stroke at Jimin’s cheeks, “you need to breathe for me, okay? Copy me, in and out.”

Jimin nods, trying his best to imitate Jeongguk’s slow breathing. He f*cking hates this. Why does he have to be like this? He’s been in the limelight since childhood and yet he still can’t handle the press even after all these years.

“Hey, hey. Look at me.” Jeongguk’s soothing voice cuts through the mess in Jimin’s mind. “Do you want to leave? We can leave. Just say the word. You’re not trapped okay? You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Jimin shakes his head, still taking deep breaths. His head is clearing a little as he focuses on his two most important people. “I can do it. I w-want to. I want to end all this sh*t. Tell them- they can all shove their Naver a-articles up their asses.”

Jeongguk smiles through his concern, a huff of laughter coming out. “That’s my Jimin. There’s no rush okay? Take your time. What do you need?”

“I just need five minutes,” Jimin sighs, his vision clearing, Jeongguk’s soothing touch helping him to calm down.

“Gotcha,” Hobi says, standing and walking to the door, “I’ll tell them to delay for ten minutes.”

Once Hobi closes the door behind him, Jimin drops his head back with a thud against the wall. “I can’t believe I’m f*cking doing this again. I’m sorry. I should be better at this by now.”

“Hey,” Jeongguk’s hands move down as he strokes at Jimin’s arms, “don’t you dare apologise. You have nothing to apologise for. Speaking in front of a crowd isn’t an easy thing for anyone, especially when it’s members of the press. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes,” Jimin nods, “I’m sure.”

“I’ll be right next to you, okay? If anyone asks any inappropriate questions then I can step in.”

Jimin takes a deep breath, breathing out slowly. He feels exhausted already. The fact that he still has to go out and do an entire press conference makes him feel like vomiting. He can’t wait for this all to be over. “Thank you.”

Jeongguk shifts so he’s sitting next to Jimin, his back against the wall, and Jimin lays his head on his shoulder as he concentrates on calming down, Jeongguk stroking his hand gently. After a few minutes, Jimin lifts his head. Jeongguk turns to look at him. “Ready to go?”

Jimin nods. Jeongguk stands and turns to help him up. Jimin stands and straightens his collar, brushing down his now wrinkled suit. Jeongguk is just as dressed up, wearing his own fitted black suit and shirt which make him look extra handsome. His long hair is styled back out of his face, and he looks at Jimin with that same softness in his eyes that he always does.

He’s going out in front of the wolves, but this time he’s not alone. This time he has his own wolf by his side.

They walk out of the bathroom to find a group of Jimin’s management team hovering nervously. They all heave a sigh of relief when they see him. “Ready?” Manager Kim walks over to him, eyes searching his face. He’s the manager that has worked closely with Jimin for the longest. Although Jimin does his best to hide it, he knows Jimin’s struggles. He looks surprised that Jimin looks relatively put together. He probably thought that Jimin had snuck out of the bathroom window or something, which has happened on more than one occasion.

“Ready.”

“I’ll be right back here,” Hobi says with a squeeze to Jimin’s shoulder.

“And I’ll be right next to you.” Jeongguk echoes.

Jimin nods, swallowing dryly.

Entering the conference hall, it’s the same routine. The barrage of camera flashes threaten to blind him as the members of the press call out his name to try and get him to look in their direction and pose for a picture.

Jimin doesn't play along this time and simply bows politely a few times, instead focusing on the layout of the stage. There’s a long desk with a row of chairs set behind, a microphone set up in front of each seat. Two of Jimin’s managers move past him swiftly to sit on the far two seats, leaving a spaces for Jimin, and a space beside him for Jeongguk. Jimin bows once more to the room before walking to his seat and sitting down. The material of the chair is a rough velvet material, and Jimin instantly starts to brush his hands across the seat cushion. He concentrates on the sensation, and not on the hundreds of pairs of eyes that are locked onto him.

There are spotlights lighting up the stage, but not in the same way as when he’s at an award show, or when he’s filming. They aren’t blindingly bright. This time he can clearly see the audience, which is the last thing he wants. But its necessary for a press conference. He clears his throat, thankful for the glass of water prepared on the table in front of him which he drinks down quickly.

There is movement next to him and Jimin looks to see Jeongguk sitting down in the chair beside him. He scoots his chair closer to Jimin as he tucks himself in. It’s a small movement, unnoticeable to those in front of them, but it almost makes Jimin want to cry. With the cover of the enclosed table in front of them he reaches over and fumbles for Jeongguk’s hand. Instead he sort of gropes at his thigh, but once Jeongguk realises what Jimin is searching for, he instantly takes his hand into his own and entwines their fingers, giving Jimin’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

Its’s instantly grounding. Jimin takes a breath and finally looks out at the audience, straightening his posture. He feels his jaw threaten to lock as his heart thunders and he wonders if he looks like the arrogant, untouchable celebrity that they all love painting him as. He spots Taehyung and Jin standing in the back corner, masks covering most of their faces. It looks like some of the press have noticed them, curiously glancing and snapping photos. They give Jimin a small wave when they see him looking, and Jimin feels a wave of reassurance.

The cameras flash again, and this time Jimin doesn’t look away. He focuses on the patterns Jeongguk draws on the back of his hand under the table.

Then the audience falls quiet.

From what Jimin is aware, the press doesn’t actually know why they’ve all been called for this sudden conference. There all waiting with anticipation to find out what this could be about.

Jimin’s manager gives a general introduction that Jimin can barely hear. Something about the article. Something about the delay of the release of Jimin’s drama due to health concerns. It all just blurs into one sound in his ears. After a while Jeongguk speaks from beside him. He speaks with ease, looking completely unfazed by the crowd of people. One of the reporters in the front row ask Jeongguk a question Jimin doesn’t quite catch.

“Yes. I’m very grateful for how well my article on Park Jimin was received by the general public. I think the reason it made such an impact is because it was based on actual facts instead of hearsay, videos taken out of context, or simply blatant lies, which all of your articles written about Park Jimin are based on. I must admit that even I myself had a negative opinion of Jimin-ssi before I had even met him, and I allowed that to affect how I treated him when we first met. And I usually pride myself on my impartial journalism. Do you see how your articles have a rippling effect that can destroy a person’s image? I truly hope you have all had a chance to read my article. I sincerely hope that you can all see the negative effect your articles have had on Jimin-ssi’s reputation. To say most of you deserve to be sued for defamation is putting it lightly.”

Jimin’s manager clears his throat loudly from beside them, and there is a murmur that runs through the audience. Taehyung cheers from somewhere, Jimin looks at Jeongguk in shock, and Jeongguk turns to flash him a smile, before his expression turns serious again and he turns back to the stunned room. He actually looks like he’s enjoying himself.

Jeongguk clears his throat and continues. “Hounding him from a young age, invading his privacy on a daily basis, and driving him into a corner where he felt that he didn’t even have the right to defend himself? That he would be painted further in a bad light if he spoke out about all this? Is that fair? This has been a case of bullying and harassment on a country-wide scale, and I believe you all owe Park Jimin an apology at the very least.” He smiles down at one particular reporter. “So Mr Kim from… Dispatch, wasn’t it? In response to your question I am happy that the article was received so well. I hope that sums my feelings up on the subject.”

Jimin’s jaw drops as he continues to stare at Jeongguk. He can’t believe he just said that. Jimin’s has never had the nerve to speak like that to the press, but Jeongguk had put them all in their place with just a few words. Crazy bastard. Jimin falls for him even harder in that moment.

He turns back to the sea of faces in front of him, most of the crowd of reporters murmuring amongst themselves in outrage at Jeongguk’s words, and clears his throat. With his hand still entwined with Jeongguk’s, never separated since they sat down, Jimin speaks.

“I’m sure you’re all wondering why you were called here today. While part of it is to answer any questions about the recent article written by Jeon Jeongguk, and to explain the delay in the release of ‘We Met In Spring,” neither of these are the main reason.” Jimin takes a breath, feeling Jeongguk squeeze his hand encouragingly. “I’d like to announce my retirement from acting.”

There’s silence. Just for a second, it’s like you could hear a pin drop. Then all he’ll breaks loose.

The audience explodes into a torrent of camera flashes and shouting, each member of the press waving their hands to try and be the first to have their questions answered. Jimin’s vision dances, overwhelmed by onslaught of light and noise.

Just breathe.

You’re not on your own. Jeongguk is beside you. Hobi is just off the side of the stage. Tae and Jin are in the audience. You can do this.

Jimin takes a breath.

“Maybe this seems sudden to you all.” The crowd dies down as Jimin starts to speak again. He speaks clearly, so there can be no misunderstandings, or mistranslations. “But to me this has been a decision that I have not taken lightly. I have been contemplating early retirement for a few years now, but I never thought that it would be possible. I just kept on pushing myself, and ignoring the warning signs telling me to stop.” He looks out at the people sitting before him, seeing the humans behind the cameras and usernames. “I was addicted to a routine that was making me very unwell, both physically and mentally. Personally, I don’t think I was made for this kind of career It’s not one that has ever come naturally to me, and as the years have gone by I have struggled more and more with being in the limelight. When the media decided to make me some sort of punching bag, it led me down a very dark path. I hope you’ve all read The Inside Story article, if you haven’t, I’d like to ask you to do so. I think it summarises in words much better than my own what led me to this decision.”

Jimin can see Jeongguk smile out of the corner of his eye. He continues, wanting to stress a certain point. “I want to emphasise how grateful I am to those who have supported me throughout the years. My management team,” he gestures to his two managers sitting beside him who have respectfully not interrupted, and even seem proud. “My stylist and best friend who has been with me from the beginning,” Jimin looks to the side of the stage, searching for Hobi who is standing near the door with a teary smile. “My closet friends, and loved ones who have been my biggest support network,” he looks out at Tae and Jin who smile back at him, and squeezes Jeongguk’s hand under the table. “Also my fans who have defended me again and again against all the articles slandering me. I am so thankful to all the people who have helped me to get to this level in my career, and maybe it has been my feelings of gratitude to them that has driven me to come this far despite my struggles, but now I want to make a decision for myself. So maybe for the first time, and the last time, I’d like to ask you to respect my decision and my privacy. I will not be re-signing my contract with M Entertainment, and will also be discontinuing any ambassadorships I currently hold worldwide. I’d like to be left alone to live a normal life as a normal human being. Thank you.”

The noise starts again, the audience all speaking over each other. But Jimin doesn’t care. A huge feeling of relief washes over him like never before. It’s like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He looks at Jeongguk, and he can’t help but break into a smile. Jeongguk smiles back, that adorable toothy smile that makes his nose scrunch up. God he loves that man.

Jimin reluctantly lets his hand slip from Jeongguk’s as he stands up and straightens his suit. Jeongguk stands up quickly next to him, like he can’t wait to get out of there. The thought makes Jimin happy

The sound of the crowd goes up a pitch, the members of the press borderline desperate as they call out his name. They have that same look in their eyes that his executives did. Panic. They’re losing their number one prey. Their best-seller. Their money maker.

How sad that that’s all he’s ever been to them. Now it’s all over.

Jimin leans down to speak into the mic one last time, speaking calmly as he looks out at the people who have made his life hell. “And no, I won’t answer any of your questions. Ever again.”

With that he leaves. Jeongguk by his side. His future ahead of him looking bright for the first time.

Hobi pulls him into a hug when they get into the hallway. and Jimin feels like crying as he sinks into his arms the same way he always has since they were children. “I’m so proud of you, Jimin-ah. You really did it!”

Taehyung and Jin appear besides them, joining in the hug and squeezing so tight Jimin has to tap out before he’s crushed. Jeongguk is dragged into the hug as well, and seems equally as breathless when they all separate. Jimin’s friends shower him with praise, each one of their faces filled with pride and love, and as Jimin looks around them he realises that although there’s a possibility that his relationship with his parents may never improve, he still has a family surrounding him who love him no matter what.

Jimin can hear his managers speaking to the crowd, probably explaining some of the details in a way that acts as damage control for their company, which is probably currently seeing a plummet in their stocks. He sighs wearily and looks at Jeongguk, who is looking back at him like he knows exactly what Jimin is thinking. “You don’t owe them anything, okay? You’ve done more than enough.”

Jimin smiles. He didn’t realise how much he needed to hear those words. “Can we get away from here? Like what we did before? Just drive somewhere far away?”

Jeongguk pulls out his car keys in response, holding them up with a cheeky grin. “I thought you’d never ask. I’ll let my brother know we’ll be using the boathouse.”

Jimin has to suppress the sudden urge to jump into Jeongguk’s arms and smother him in kisses, knowing that he’s still being watched and probably photographed right now. Still he shows his feeling with his eyes. “Sounds perfect. Lets go.”

They say a quick goodbye to the others, who are ecstatic to know that Jeongguk is going to whisk Jimin away from all the fallout that will come from this announcement, and then Jeongguk is practically dragging him to the car. Jimin can’t help the grin that is plastered on his face. When he reaches the car and jumps into the passenger seat, he lets out a loud groan of relief. Dragging his hands through his gel filled hair, Jimin looks at Jeongguk who slips into the drivers seat and locks the doors behind him.

It feels different from last time. Last time when he ran away with Jeongguk he was longing for freedom, for a life away from the industry which was hellbent on destroying him. This time he’s actually achieved it. He’s finally free.

Jeongguk watches Jimin as he drags his hands through his hair, mussing up the fixed style with a sigh of relief. They look at each other for a moment before Jeongguk is leaning across and grabbing Jimin’s face to pull him into a tender kiss. Jimin reminds himself that the windows are blacked out, and grabs at the front of Jeongguk’s shirt, getting as close as he can. He sighs into the kiss, tasting Jeongguk on his tongue.

“I’m so so proud of you,” Jeongguk says against his lips.

Jimin is breathless by the time they pull apart, his eyes bleary and love-drunk.“… Thank you. For being by my side.”

Jeongguk starts the engine, and reaches over to thread their fingers together. “Always.”

Jeongguk drops Jimin off briefly at his apartment so he can quickly change and pack a bag, and Jeongguk goes to do the same. Jimin changes into a pair of shorts and a comfortable t-shirt, the weather warm enough that he doesn’t need a jacket. He doesn’t pack many clothes, because if he’s honest, he just wants to laze around in Jeongguk’s old T-shirts again for the foreseeable future.

Once Jeongguk sends him a message that he’s back in the carpark, Jimin throws his bag over his shoulder and heads for the door. He gives his apartment a once-over and makes sure everything is locked up, because he isn’t even sure when he will be back at Nine One Hannam, and he absolutely loves that thought.

When he jumps back into the passenger seat of Jeongguk’s car, he’s so full of excitement that he drags Jeongguk in for another long kiss before they set off onto the road together.

Jeongguk has changed into a pair of baggy shorts and a dark t-shirt. His hair is down now and sits in pretty curls framing his face perfectly. His personal playlist filters through the speakers, soft melodies which pair perfectly with the late-night summer air. Jimin rolls his window all the way down and weaves his fingers through the air as they drive down the motorway leading out of Seoul.

Jimin watches the city fade into the distance behind him, and he breathes.

For the rest of the journey, he and Jeongguk talk about everything and anything that comes to mind. Life, the future, their worries and concerns, their hopes and dreams. Jeongguk talks about his own worries, his own anxieties which Jimin didn’t even realise he had. Jimin plays with Jeongguk’s fingers as his hand rests in his lap, listening to Jeongguk explain the guilt he felt and still feels about pursuing writing instead of taking on his family’s business. The fact that even though his parents support his lifestyle, and have accepted him ever since he came out to them, he still feels like he’s letting them down.

Jimin talks about his parents. The fact that he doesn’t know if he will ever come out to them. How he feels like telling them will destroy whatever relationship they have left, and although his parents, especially his mother, are the cause of a lot of his stress and anxiety, he still craves their love and acceptance. Jeongguk listens, and doesn’t judge. He actually reassures Jimin that he has no obligation to come out to anyone, and should do so only if he feels that it will be what’s best for his own mental health. Jimin feels lighter after their conversation. He knows that whatever the future brings, he has Jeongguk, and they can face it together.

When they reach the boathouse the sky is a pretty lavender colour. Jimin jumps out of the car and kicks off his sliders, running into the water until it’s up to his knees. He stretches his arms up above his head and shouts out at the open ocean. Jeongguk laughs from behind him, and then his arms are around Jimin’s waist and his chin is on his shoulder.

The water splashes around their knees as the waves roll in and out. Jimin glances over his shoulder at the boathouse- his hideaway for however long he needs, hidden away, just him and Jeongguk, and the ocean. Lifting a hand, he threads it into Jeongguk’s long hair, and turns his head to kiss him softly.

The sea air is salty, the water is cool, and Jeongguk is warm against his back.

“What do you want for dinner?” Jeongguk asks.

“Hmm,” Jimin contemplates, “I heard there’s an award winning seafood restaurant around here. Sources say the crab is way better than in Seoul.”

Jeongguk’s face lights up, and he pulls Jimin in for a kiss. “Those sources are correct. And the owners are some of the nicest people on earth, in my completely non-biased opinion. They’re probably going to be happier to see you than me to be honest.

Jimin laughs and slips his hand into Jeongguk’s as they make their way back up the beach to the boathouse. “I can’t wait. And for dessert… I want to eat you.” Jimin says, licking his lips suggestively.

Jeongguk stumbles over his feet, looking at Jimin like he can’t believe those words came out of his mouth. He suddenly starts to run towards the boathouse, dragging a giggling Jimin behind him. “Dessert can come before dinner right? How about a quick appetiser?”

Jimin laughs so much he finds it hard to not fall over as they run. “Sounds perfect.”

———

Jimin likes to watch Jeongguk sleep in the morning. He’s gotten into a sort of habit of waking up earlier, and just admiring the way Jeongguk looks when he sleeps. He reaches out and brushes a hand through his hair, trailing his fingers along his jaw. The touch gently rouses Jeongguk, and he opens one eye to look up at Jimin.

“Mmh, good morning,” Jeongguk says, his voice hoarse. He reaches out and wraps his arms around Jimin, rolling them so he is on his back, and Jimin is on top of him. Jeongguk slides his hands down, and squeezes Jimin’s thighs in a way that makes Jimin draw in a breath, tugging so that Jimin’s legs fall around his hips. Jimin loves how perfectly they fit together and how good Jeongguk feels between his legs.

Jeongguk is still naked from the night before, Jimin can’t help but be reminded of it where they are pressed together. Jimin is just as bare under one of Jeongguk’s old oversized T-shirts that he had slipped on earlier in the morning.

“Good morning,” Jimin sighs, sighing and nuzzling into Jeongguk’s shoulder. He drops his head against Jeongguk’s chest, fingers absentmindedly drawing circles on Jeongguk’s skin.

Jeongguk lazily stroked his hands up and down Jimin’s spine, and then down his thighs and back up. “How long have you been awake?”

“Not too long. You looked so cute sleeping, I couldn’t wake you.” Jimin replies.

Jeongguk presses a kiss to Jimin’s head and inhales. Jeongguk says that recently Jimin’s hair smells like soap and salt water. Jimin says Jeongguk’s smells the same It must be because they swims in the ocean a lot since they arrived, and the salt clings to their hair and skin.

If someone were to ask him in the future what scent reminds him of home, this would probably be it.

Jeongguk’s hands keep catching on the hem of Jimin’s T-shirt, so he tugs it up high so it sits above Jimin’s shoulder blades, and then continues stroking his bare skin, spreading his fingers across the flesh of Jimin’s ass, before dragging them across the dimples in his lower back. Jimin feels goosebumps rise everywhere Jeongguk touches, his heartbeat quickening with each tender caress.

Jeongguk doesn’t seem to realise the affect his touch is having on Jimin right now, lighting a fire deep in his stomach. Jimin can’t help himself as he starts to squirm, his breath hitching again. His hips shift, and Jeongguk must feel how hard he is as his co*ck brushes across his hip. Jeongguk’s hands pause and he lifts his head to look down at Jimin.

“Baby?”

“S-sorry, it’s just- your touch…” Jimin confesses. He feels embarrassed, but at the same time he’s so turned on he can’t find it in himself to care at this moment. Instead he starts to rock his hips, grinding against Jeongguk, and he can feel that Jeongguk hardening too. “F-feels so good when you touch me.”

Jeongguk grips Jimin’s hips with both hands, pulling Jimin against him as he grinds up and rolls his hips.“God, Jimin. You’ll be the death of me.”

Their breaths become more and more laboured as they grind against each other. Someone leaks precum, maybe it’s both of them, and it does wonders at aiding the slide of their co*cks together. Jeongguk hitches his knees up between Jimin’s legs and the angle forces their hips closer, sparks shooting up Jimin’s spine. Jimin lifts his head to chase Jeongguk’s lips, panting against his mouth between messy kisses.

Jeongguk sits them both up, and Jimin’s hips sink down against his, not even hesitating to continue the pace they had set. He rolls his hips unashamedly, their co*cks hot and hard between them. Jimin threads his fingers into Jeongguk’s hair, eyes never leaving Jeongguk’s as he moans his name over and over.

Jimin’s org*sm takes him by surprise. His come spurts over Jeongguk’s abs as his thighs quiver and his eyes roll back, head lulling to the side as he lets out a low groan. All he can think of is Jeongguk, Jeongguk, Jeongguk.

“f*ck, Jimin,” Jeongguk growls as he flips them over, dropping Jimin amongst the soft sheets and sitting up between his parted legs. Jeongguk looks down at him like he wants to devour him, cheeks flushed red and long hair messy. When he looks at Jimin like that, Jimin can’t help but feel sexy. He wants to devour and be devoured.

Jeongguk runs his hand through the mess Jimin left on his abs, using the cum to slick his co*ck up, the tip a deep angry red where he hasn’t come yet. “You came fast this morning,” he says with a teasing grin, and Jimin wants to kiss that look right off his face.

“S-still sensitive from last night,” Jimin says, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as his eyes rake over Jeongguk’s toned body. He bends his knees up, exposing himself to Jeongguk, making him curse under his breath. “I’m still loose from last night. You won’t needed to stretch me.”

Jeongguk looks like he’s about to go feral. “You sure you’ll be okay? Last night was pretty intense,” he says breathlessly, stroking himself to ease some of the pressure. Memories of the previous night flash through Jimin’s mind: being pinned up against the wall as Jeongguk f*cked into him from behind.

Jimin nods, knees spreading in invitation. He’s already getting hard again. He needs Jeongguk so badly. Jeongguk lines himself up, and slowly sinks inside him. Jimin’s inner walls quickly adjust, having grown used to the feeling and girth of Jeongguk’s co*ck. He relaxes his muscles as best he can, whimpering as Jeongguk bottoms out. Jeongguk groans Jimin’s name, his head dropping back, eyes closed and lips parted. He look’s like sin between Jimin’s legs, and Jimin’s hands brush up across his abs and chest, groping the muscles there as he moans Jeongguk’s name softly.

Jeongguk starts to rock his hips, finding that rhythm that they both love, and before long Jimin’s moans have gone up a pitch, his back arching and hands tangling into the sheets. Jeongguk shifts forwards, hands gripping Jimin’s hips and then he’s hitting Jimin’s prostate just right. Jimin cries out as hot pleasure shoots through his body with each thrust, and then his body seizes up as his second org*sm hits him hard. Jimin tightens around Jeongguk and Jeongguk can’t hold back anymore, reaching his own high as he comes inside of Jimin.

Jeongguk collapses onto Jimin’s chest, pressing him into the mattress in a way that has Jimin sighing happily, both of their chests heaving as they come down from their highs. Jimin wraps his arms around Jeongguk, hugging him tightly. Jeongguk rests his head on Jimin’s chest, and Jimin wonders if he can hear how fast Jimin’s heart is beating.

They stay like that, listening to the sound of the waves outside as they hold each other.

“I wish we didn’t have to go back,” Jimin whispers.

Jeongguk lifts his head, leaning his chin on Jimin’s chest. “Yeah?”

Jimin nods. “The longer I’ve spent out here, away from Seoul, the more I’ve come to realise how much I needed to get away. From it all… The city, the fame, that whole life.”

Jeongguk hums in understanding. “Well then why don’t we just stay here?”

“Don’t joke like that…”

“I’m not joking.”

Jimin frown, but can’t stop the hope that rises inside him. “What about your job?”

Jeongguk shrugs. “I’ll discuss it with Yoongi-hyung, but I work remotely ninety percent of the time anyway, and I can always commute to Seoul for the other ten percent.”

“What about our friends?”

“You’re talking like we’re going to move to another country,” Jeongguk laughs, “Busan is only two hours away from Seoul. We can visit them and they can come to us whenever they like. How about that?”

“You’d really leave Seoul for me?”

Jeongguk looks at him like he’s blown a fuse, “ For us. I thought we kind of come as a pair now, or am I mistaken?”

Jimin shakes his head quickly. “Of course we do! I just didn’t want to make a decision for you.”

“Well, where you go, I go. Seoul was never my final destination. I achieved what I went there to do. I got my big break, I have a secure job, and I have the freedom to write what I want. I’m ready to move on to my next chapter with you. So, what do you say? Do you want to move here together?”

Jimin things he might explode from happiness. He starts to nod before Jeongguk even finished his sentence, smiling brightly. “Yes, I want to. Let’s live here. Together.”

———

6 months later.

“Brakes!” Jeongguk screams.

Jimin accidentally slams his foot onto the break so hard they both lurch forwards in their seat. Jeongguk can feel his heart beating in his throat like he’s doing some sort of extreme sport. Who would have known teaching Jimin to drive would release this kind of adrenaline in him?

Jimin looks at Jeongguk with a sheepish grin, hands tightening around the steering wheel of Jeongguk’s car. “Oops.. sorry.”

Jeongguk chuckles and rolls his eyes. “I know I said I’d teach you how to drive, but I didn’t realise I’d need life insurance to do it, hyung.”

Jimin pouts in his seat. “I’m not that bad.”

“How is it we’re learning in a huge empty carpark, and you find the one bollard, and aim the car right at it?”

“I was practicing my manoeuvres. It could have been an old lady that I needed to avoid.”

“And did you avoid it?” Jeongguk gestures to the bollard right in front of the car’s bumper.

Jimin looks at it, and then back to Jeongguk. He speaks after a moment of contemplation. “I almost did. That’s why I’m learning. You’re not being a very understanding teacher.”

Jeongguk laughs, ruffling Jimin’s hair which is now back to his natural black. They had been at the boathouse for about two weeks when Jimin had walked in with a box of hair dye he’d bought from the market, and Jeongguk had helped him dye his hair, leaving the small bathroom in the boathouse a complete mess, and staining Jimin’s forehead and ears for a few days.

Jimin rarely styles his hair nowadays, preferring to leaving it windswept and wavy from the sea water. Jeongguk absolutely loves the natural look on Jimin, his skin tanned to a golden colour from where he spend his time in the sun. Jimin really suits living by the coast.

“Okay, okay. Why don’t you put it in reverse and we’ll try some parking practice.”

“Aye-aye, captain,” Jimin says, carefully putting the car into reverse and backing away from the bollard.

Jimin wanted to learn to drive, he made that very clear to Jeongguk. He explained that his whole life he had always had drivers pick him up and drop him off places, and so there was no need to learn to drive himself. But with this fresh start in life, one of the first things on his wish list was to finally get his licence. He wanted that independence for himself. Plus, now that they live out in a tiny village, it’s a necessity to be able to drive.

“Okay, just like I showed you. Try to get into this bay. Remember to follow the markers on the parking camera.”

Luckily Jeongguk has a relatively new car, and all cars in Korea have parking cameras, so it makes learning to park a lot easier for Jimin. He’s actually quite good at it, and when he successfully reverses the car into the space and puts it into park, he turns to look at Jeongguk with a proud grin. Jeongguk hooks a knuckle under Jimin’s chin and leans in to kiss him. “Well done baby. Perfect parking.”

“Thank you,” Jimin smiles against his lips.

“Let’s try another lap of the carpark and then maybe we can make it out onto a main road this lesson.” Jeongguk sits back and tightens his seatbelt subtly.

“You think I’m ready to go on an actual road? With other cars?” Jimin asks hopefully.

“Uh…We’ll see. Let’s just start by avoiding that bollard this time.”

Jimin nods, putting his hands on the steering wheel at the exact ten o’clock and two o’clock positions, his brows drawing down in determination. “Let’s do this.”

They continue their lesson, and to Jimin’s delight they make it out onto a main road. Jeongguk actually gets him to drive them home, which Jimin is ecstatic about. He drives them through the sea side town, along the main road lining the seafront, the sun low in the sky like a beacon calling them back to their home. Jimin follows the ocean road with careful concentration, barely passing ten other cars on their way. Turning down a small road between persimmon trees, they come to their little home on shoreline overlooking a small bay.

It’s a bit of a project, most houses this far out have been owned by farmers and fishermen and are not like the modern apartments you find in Seoul, but that’s what made the pair fall in love with it. The sea-worn exterior and cozy interior, and a small garden filled with flowers that bloom in all seasons captured their hearts the moment they saw it.

They pull up on the gravel drive, and Jimin puts the car into park. “I did it,” he smiles, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the car door.

“You’ll be ready for your driving test soon,” Jeongguk gets out of the passenger side. “How about driving to work tomorrow for your first day?” He suggests as he walks around the car and follows Jimin up the stone path to their front door.

Jimin fishes out his keys from his pocket, and opens the front door which welcomes them with a creak. The inside is a mix of both their styles. Lots of wood and earthy colours, with walls of bookshelves housing Jeongguk’s collection as well as his fish tank sitting in pride of place atop an old reclaimed desk they found at an antiques fair in Busan. Off the main living area is a bedroom which has french doors that open onto their garden which has a path which leads down to the ocean.

“Don’t remind me, I’m so nervous.”

“You’re going to do great, hyung. I saw you practicing your routine and it’s so good.” Jeongguk says as they kick their shoes off.

“Me and Hobi-hyung choreographed it together, but it’s different when I’m dancing just with him. Teaching a class of kids…”

“You’ll do amazing. And if you need a moment, just take a break. Hobi-hyung will be there too right?”

Jimin nods. “Yeah. We’re going to do the first few lessons together, until I feel confident to do it by myself.”

Once Jimin had decided to move down to the south coast of Korea with Jeongguk, he had sat down with Hobi and had a long conversation about his plans. Hobi was over the moon for Jimin, and had actually been the one to suggest a business proposal. Hobi himself had only remained a stylist in Seoul because he knew that Jimin needed him by his side, but his dream had always been dance, much like Jimin. So he had told Jimin his idea: to open a dance school in Busan. He wanted to give people of any age the chance to dance freely, the way he and Jimin were unable to do growing up.

There wasn’t as many opportunities for people in Busan, so opening it there was something that interested him. Also, he would be close to Jimin, so really it was a no brainer. Jimin and Hobi had gone into business together, opening Hope on the Street dance studio. It had taken a few months to set it all up, but now it’s finally up and running, with classes of all age groups being fully booked.

It’s only a thirty minute bus ride into Busan from their house, and even faster if they drive. Jimin had started attending the studio regularly to dance with Hoseok, rekindling their love for dancing together like the old days. Thats when Hoseok had suggested that Jimin teach one of his contemporary dance classes, and Jimin had miraculously agreed.

“Just be yourself,” Jeongguk says, walking into their little kitchen, “don’t worry too much about being a teacher. Just dance because you love it, and the kids will vibe off that. I can tell you from experience that watching you dance is extremely inspiring, even from a non-dancer like me.” He pulls Jimin in to a hug, Jimin resting his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder, “You’ll do great.” Jeongguk reassures him. “I just know you’re going to be an amazing teacher.”

———

Jeongguk’s feet ache and his thighs burn, sweat pooling between his shoulder blades and soaking through his grey t-shirt. He turns to Taehyung who looks equally as sweaty as him. “Who’s idea was it to do the advanced adult dance lesson? Huh?” He points an accusatory finger, flicking it between Taehyung and Seokjin who is standing the other side. “It was definitely one of you two.”

Seokjin raises his hands defensively. “The YouTube video didn’t make it look this hard. I was deceived.”

“You at the back, try to keep up!” Jimin calls out from the front of the dance studio, a playful smile lighting up his face as he looks at Jeongguk,

“Yes sir!” Jeongguk calls back, and Jimin lips pull into a smile as he turns to help some of the students at the front with the difficult choreography.

“Yoongi’s already given up,” Seokjin laughs, turning to look at Yoongi who is practically laying on the floor at this point, with Namjoon crouched next to him.

“He’s going to get scolded by Hobi-hyung again,” Taehyung laughs shaking his head.

Speaking of the devil, Hoseok walks over and looks down at Yoongi and Namjoon with his hands on his hips, “Why are you on the floor?”

“I don’t have the stamina for this,” Yoongi groans, “I need a drink.”

“There will be plenty of drinks tonight at my place, but you need to earn them by completing this choreography.”

Jimin walks over to Jeongguk. “You’re actually doing really well for an advanced class,” he says proudly, “I think I was right, maybe you should have become an idol after all.”

“You think I’m doing well?” Jeongguk wheezes. “I feel like I’m dying. How do you have such a high level of stamina, hyung?”

“It comes with practice, you’ll get there. You’re coping better than those two,” Jimin giggles, gesturing at Yoongi and Namjoon who are still on the floor, and still getting scolded by Hobi.

The popularity of their dance lessons grew quickly, and now Jimin holds regular lessons with small groups of all ages. It’s become his new job, and Jimin is very vocal about how much he loves it. With every successful lesson his confidence increases but by bit.

“You’re students seem to love you,” Jeongguk smiles.

Jimin looks around at the class practicing their choreography, nodding in agreement. “Yeah. I’ve got a nice group here.”

“I’m proud of you.”

Jimin smiles to himself, a blush creeping up his cheeks. “We”re going to Hobi-hyung’s apartment after this right?” Jimin says to their friend group at the back of the class. “We can order chicken.”

Hobi nods. “Of course! We were already discussing drinks.”

“I bought Halli Galli,” Seokjin announces before narrowing his eyes at Jeongguk. “It’s about time for a re-match, I think.”

Jeongguk laughs, cracking his knuckles, “You’re on. Prepare to go down hyung.”

Alright!” Jimin calls out, clapping his hands for attention as he walks back towards the front of the dance studio, “let’s take it from the top? Ready? Five, six, seven, eight-”

———

The thought of being free from the life he was living in Seoul used to be an unachievable dream that Jimin would not even allow himself to think about.

But here he is. One year later, living a quiet life with the man he loves, working alongside his best friend in an job he has always dreamed of. He would have never imagined this could be his reality, and yet it is.

Jimin still suffers with anxiety, some days worse than others. It’s not something that can be magically healed, and Jimin will probably spend his whole life working through his issues. Some days he feels confident, and others he wants to hide away from the world. But either way, he has Jeongguk by his side. He’ll always have Jeongguk in his corner, and that thought comforts him on his bad days. He sees a therapist in Busan, which helps a lot, and he has a new prescription of medication that seems to work better for him. He’s growing in confidence, and he barely looks at his phone except to upload videos to YouTube.

It was Jeongguk’s idea. Jimin would film himself dancing so he could monitor his routines, and Jeongguk had suggested he upload them to the dance school’s social media channels, because they were so good.

So he did. Maybe he did it to heal. Maybe he was proud of himself for doing what he always wanted to do. Maybe he wanted to show people the real him, and when he dances he truly feels like he’s in his rawest form.

So he uploaded some videos. And he titled them #ThisIsJimin. And they went viral, his fans so happy to see him doing what he loves. Of course some of the media in Seoul found them and a few articles were written about him ‘coming out of hiding’ but this time Jimin didn’t care.

They no longer have control over him. It all seems so far away.

He is healing. He is happy. He can finally breathe.

“You okay?” Jeongguk ask, threading their fingers together as they walk down the path leading from their house, to the beach. The sun is setting and the sky is a dusky pink, like it’s been painted with a watercolours. “What are you thinking about?”

“Just life. Us.” Jimin smiles. “You know, I called my parents…”

“You did?”

“It was the first time I’ve spoken to them since the award show… It didn’t go terribly. I was actually surprised at how civil my mother was trying to be. I think I’m going to try and call them regularly. He shrugs, “who knows, maybe one day we will meet in person again.”

“That’s great, hyung. I’m proud of you.”

Jimin nods, tightening his hold on Jeongguk’s hand. “If… If I go to meet them… will you come with me?”

Jeongguk looks at him with a fond smile. He lifts their joined hands and presses a kiss to the back of Jimin’s. “I’ll be right there beside you.”

“I don’t think it will be any time soon. But maybe one day.”

“Speaking of parents,”Jeongguk says as he leads Jimin off the path and down towards the secluded beach, “my mother has made a boatload of kimchi for us, she’s going to drop it round tomorrow. I’m pretty sure it will last us the whole year.”

“I love her so much.”

“She loves you too, if she hasn’t made that clear.” Jeongguk laughs. “But just remember I love you the most.”

Jimin feels himself blush, even after a year Jeongguk makes his heart flutter. “I love you too, Jeongguk-ah.”

As they walk down the beach, the ocean breathes the same way it always has for them, welcoming them. A plaid picnic mat lays on the sand, a small stove and grill pan sitting ready on one side, a glowing lantern in the centre.

“Happy anniversary, baby,” Jeongguk holds his hand out to Jimin, smiling that smile that has always made Jimin’s insides melt, and his knees weak.

“You arranged a picnic?”

“Of course I did. I thought we could recreate our first date by the river. Minus the pouring rain. So what do you say? Park Jimin,” Jeongguk steps back and holds out his hand, “may I have this dance?”

Jimin laughs, his head thrown back, eyes turning up into little half moons. How did he get so lucky, to be loved by this wonderful man, the man who gave him back his life. “Of course,” Jimin takes Jeongguk’s hand, stepping into his waiting arms, the arms that have always caught him. “Always.” There’s no music. Just the sound of the ocean, and Jeongguk’s melodic voice as he hums a gentle tune. Jimin lays his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder as they dance, letting his eyes fall closed.

Even though their story may not have had the perfect beginning, it’s had the perfect ending.

The end.